Photo by Letícia Pelissari on Unsplash
In short: Joy and fulfilment come from within. They don’t depend on wealth, status or possessions. They rest on three pillars: health, abundance and love. Health gives you the energy to live fully, abundance gives you a sense of freedom and enough, and love gives your life meaning and connection. You strengthen all three with small, steady efforts, one pillar at a time.
You’ve had a good day, by any reasonable measure. The work got done, dinner was nice, everyone is well. You sit down on the sofa in the evening, and there it is again: a faint feeling that something is missing. You have so much to be thankful for, so what could it possibly be?
Do you ever feel like that, despite your best efforts to be happy? Maybe you have a successful career, a loving family or a comfortable home, and still you don’t feel fulfilled. Many people do, and it doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you.
True joy and fulfilment come from within. They aren’t the result of outside things like wealth, status or possessions. They grow from three essential pillars: health, abundance and love. Let’s look at each one, with some practical ways to make it stronger in your own life.
The first pillar: health
When you’re in good physical, mental and emotional health, you have the energy and the vitality to pursue what you love, to connect with others and to enjoy life to the full. Health is more than a body that works. Your mental and emotional health matter just as much. Taking care of your mind, body and soul is what keeps you in balance.
How can you look after your health?
Eat a balanced diet, rich in nutrients. If you’re not sure where to begin, keep healthy eating simple.
Move every day, ideally for half an hour or more. A brisk walk counts.
Give sleep and rest a real place in your week. These simple habits for better nights will help.
Practise something that calms you when you’re stressed, such as meditation, yoga or deep breathing.
Build healthy habits, and leave out what harms you, such as smoking or too much alcohol.
Small, steady efforts are what keep you healthy. Start with one change and build from there. I go further into this pillar in a closer look at the first pillar of joy and fulfilment.
The second pillar: abundance
Abundance is more than money or possessions. It’s a sense of prosperity in every area of your life, a feeling of freedom and richness. Financial freedom is part of it. So is having the time and the means to pursue what you love and to live on your own terms.
How can you cultivate abundance and freedom?
Take stock of your finances and make a plan to improve them, for example by setting a budget or by investing in your education or your career.
Cultivate a mindset of abundance: look at what you have and stop staring at what you lack.
Create more free time. Delegate where you can, pay for help where that’s possible, and say no to obligations that don’t fit your values. Your non-negotiables are a good place to start.
Make time for your passions and hobbies, even if they will never earn you a penny. They bring you joy, and that’s reason enough.
Surround yourself with people who support your vision and your values.
Practise gratitude for the freedom and abundance you already have. I explain how in how gratitude can change your outlook.
Freedom is a vital part of abundance, because it allows you to live a life that fits your values and your passions. Picture a free Saturday morning with nothing in the diary and a pot of tea on the table: that’s abundance too.
The third pillar: love
Love is the glue that holds our relationships together and gives our lives meaning and purpose. Loving relationships create a sense of connection and belonging. I mean love in the widest sense: with your family, your friends, your partner, and even with strangers, through empathy and compassion.
How can you nurture love?
Cultivate empathy and compassion for others.
Listen properly. Put the phone away, and let the other person finish.
Keep quality time with the people you love, and protect it.
Practise forgiveness, and let go of grudges and resentment.
Tell the people in your life that you appreciate them.
Relationships take time and effort. Make the effort to connect, and let people know how much they mean to you. You’ll find more ideas in primary food: having happy relationships.
How do the three pillars work together?
“Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start.”
Nido Qubein
When you take care of health, abundance and love together, you lay a foundation for a life filled with joy and fulfilment. Your physical, mental and emotional health give you energy. A mindset of abundance gives you room to breathe. Loving relationships give you a reason to get up in the morning. Together they bring a harmony and balance that allow you to thrive.
Think of a three-legged stool. If one leg is much shorter than the others, you can still sit on it, but you spend all your energy keeping your balance. That’s often where the “something is missing” feeling comes from: one pillar has been neglected for a while, usually without your noticing.
Of course, all this is easier said than done. Life can be unpredictable and challenging, and there are times when it’s hard to look after your health, to feel abundant or to give love the time it needs. Keep the three pillars in mind anyway, and make small daily efforts. And if you’d like to look at the values that help you stay on course, read from joy to integrity.
Try this today
Take a sheet of paper and write the three pillars across the top: health, abundance, love.
Under each one, write what is going well. Be generous with yourself.
Then ask: which one have I been neglecting lately?
Choose one small step for that pillar this week: an earlier night, an hour for a hobby, a phone call to someone you miss.
So take a deep breath, and remember that you can create the life you want. It’s never too late to start making small, steady changes that lead to a happier and more fulfilling life.
Frequently asked questions
What are the three pillars of joy and fulfilment?
Health, abundance and love. Health is your physical, mental and emotional wellbeing. Abundance is a sense of freedom and richness in your life, in time as much as in money. Love is the quality of your relationships and your feeling of connection and belonging.
Which pillar should I start with?
Start with the one that feels weakest right now, and choose one small step there. If you really can’t decide, start with health: when you sleep, eat and move well, you have more energy for everything else.
Does abundance mean having a lot of money?
No. Money is part of it, because financial worries weigh heavily, but abundance is wider than that. It’s the feeling that you have enough, and the freedom to spend your time on what matters to you. Many people discover they have more of it than they thought once they start looking.
Can I feel joy when one pillar is weak?
Yes. Hardly anybody has all three in perfect shape at the same time. The pillars support each other, so strengthening one often helps the others: loving relationships carry you through a health problem, and better health gives you energy for the people you love.
When should I talk to my doctor?
If the feeling that something is missing comes with a low mood that lasts more than a couple of weeks, constant tiredness, poor sleep or a loss of interest in things you used to enjoy, please talk to your doctor. It’s worth checking, and you deserve proper support.
Would you like some help?
The first pillar, health, is where my work begins: how you eat, sleep, move and look after yourself is what we work on in my group programmes in nutrition and health, such as Six Tuesdays in Montignac. If you’d like to hear when the next group opens, write to me at hello@catherinepolet.coach.
Would you rather work one to one? I also coach online. Book a free 20-minute call, and tell me which of the three pillars needs the most care in your life right now. That’s where we’ll begin.
About Catherine
I’m Catherine Polet, a holistic nutrition health coach, yoga and autogenic training teacher for more than 30 years, author and speaker. I help people find a way of eating and living that suits their own body, online in English, French, Spanish and German, and in person in Southwest France.
