In short: Gratitude doesn’t make your problems disappear, but it changes what you see when you look at your life. When you count your blessings as well as your troubles, the troubles take up less room and the good things become visible again. A few minutes a day is enough: a notebook, a real thank you, a moment of attention. With practice, frustration slowly makes way for a quieter sense of fulfilment.
The washing machine breaks down on the same day the car needs repairing. A colleague is off sick and their work lands on your desk. You come home, the kitchen is a mess, and somebody asks what’s for dinner. You hear yourself say: “It’s just one thing after another.” And for a while, that is really all you can see.
Have you ever felt like that, as if you can’t catch a break however hard you try? It’s very easy to get caught up in everything that’s going wrong. What I’d like to show you here is that a simple change of perspective can help you find joy and fulfilment even in a difficult stretch.
Why do we see the troubles first?
We take the good things in our lives for granted very quickly. The heating that works, the friend who always answers, the legs that take us up the stairs: we stop noticing them because they’re simply there. A problem, on the other hand, shouts for attention. So at the end of the day we remember the one thing that went wrong and forget the twenty that went right.
We also tend to look at what we don’t have. The bigger kitchen, the calmer job, the free weekend that somebody else seems to enjoy. None of this makes you an ungrateful person. It’s simply where the mind goes when nobody steers it. And that’s exactly why minding your thoughts makes such a difference to how your days feel.
Count your blessings, not your troubles
The change I’m talking about is gratitude. When you count your blessings as well as your troubles, you see your life in a different light. The things that bothered you don’t seem quite so important any more, and you start noticing the good that surrounds you every day.
Take a moment now and think about what you’re grateful for. Perhaps it’s your health, your family, your friends or your work. It could be something as simple as a smile, a beautiful sunset or a delicious meal. Whatever it is, stay with it for a few seconds and really appreciate it.
When you do this regularly, your whole outlook begins to shift. You feel more positive, you have more energy, and you feel more fulfilled. And there’s a lovely side effect: gratitude is contagious. When you show appreciation, the people around you begin to do the same.
How do you practise gratitude every day?
A gratitude practice is simple, and it doesn’t need much time. Here are five ways to begin. Choose the one that suits you best and start there.
1. Start a gratitude journal
Write down three things you’re grateful for each day. Keep a notebook and a pen next to your bed, so that it’s the last thing you do before you turn off the light. Be specific: “the soup my neighbour brought round” stays with you longer than “nice people”.
2. Say thank you
When someone does something kind for you, take the time to thank them properly. Look at them, and say what it meant to you. They’ll feel appreciated, and you’ll strengthen your own sense of gratitude at the same time.
3. Be present
Take a few moments each day to be fully where you are and notice the world around you: the warmth of the sun, the colours in the garden, the taste of your favourite food. If being present doesn’t come easily, these simple breathing practices are a good way in.
4. Share your gratitude
Tell the people around you how much you appreciate them, whether it’s a friend, a family member or a colleague. A short message is enough: “I was thinking of you today, and I’m glad you’re in my life.” I wrote more about this in the benefits of expressing appreciation.
5. Give back
Volunteering, or giving to a cause you care about, helps you feel more connected to the people around you and gives you a greater sense of purpose.
I made a short video about this, you can watch it below.
Is gratitude only about saying thank you?
Not at all. One of the great things about gratitude is that it can be practised in so many ways. Saying thank you and keeping a journal are excellent places to start, but there’s more.
Gratitude can be expressed through small acts of kindness, such as helping a neighbour or giving to a charity. It can show itself in forgiveness, when you let go of a grudge and choose compassion. And it lives in the smallest moments: the sun on your face, the softness of your bed at night.
It’s good for you, too. A grateful outlook lifts your mood and your sense of wellbeing, helps you cope with stress and worry, and brings you closer to other people.
“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.”
Eckhart Tolle
Why is it so hard to be grateful?
If gratitude is so simple, why do so many of us struggle to practise it? It could be because we live in a culture that values achievement and success above everything else. We’re told to always strive for more and never to be satisfied with what we have.
But no amount of material success or approval from others will ever truly make us happy. Happiness comes from within, from learning to appreciate what is already there. That’s also why I make a difference between the two, as I explain in joy and happiness: two sides of the same coin?
This doesn’t mean you should give up your goals and dreams. Keep them. But when you balance ambition with appreciation for what you already have, you open yourself to a joy and fulfilment you might otherwise walk straight past. Appreciating what you have is also part of what I call abundance, one of the three pillars of joy and fulfilment.
Try this tonight
Before you go to sleep, write down three good things from today. Small ones count.
Tomorrow, thank one person properly, and tell them why.
The next time you catch yourself saying “it’s one thing after another”, stop and add one thing that went well today.
At the weekend, read back what you wrote during the week. You may be surprised by how much is there.
A grateful mindset isn’t something you reach once and then keep for ever. It grows with practice, and shifting your perspective takes time. So the next time you feel down, remember to look for the good as well. Take a few moments to think about what you’re grateful for. Choose gratitude, and watch how your days begin to feel different. Life is a gift, even on the days when the washing machine breaks down.
Frequently asked questions
What is a gratitude practice?
It’s a small, regular moment in which you notice what is good in your life and say so, on paper, out loud or to another person. Three lines in a notebook before bed is a gratitude practice. So is a proper thank you to the person who helped you today.
How long does it take before gratitude changes how I feel?
Most people notice something within the first couple of weeks: they start spotting good things during the day because they know they’ll write them down in the evening. The deeper change, a calmer and more contented outlook, comes slowly, with repetition. Give it time and keep it simple.
Isn’t gratitude just pretending that everything is fine?
No. Gratitude doesn’t ask you to deny what is hard. It asks you to look at the whole picture, the troubles and the good things next to them. You can be worried about something and thankful for something else on the very same day.
What if I can’t think of anything to be grateful for?
Start very small and very close: a warm bed, a hot drink, a message from a friend, a body that carried you through the day. On difficult days one thing is enough. The habit of looking matters more than the length of the list.
When should I talk to my doctor?
If you’ve felt low, flat or hopeless for more than a couple of weeks, if you’ve lost interest in things you used to enjoy, or if your sleep and appetite have changed, please talk to your doctor. Gratitude is a lovely daily habit, but it doesn’t replace proper care when you need it.
Would you like some help?
How you look at your life shapes how you eat, sleep and take care of yourself, which is why mindset has its place in my group programmes in nutrition and health, such as Six Tuesdays in Montignac. If you’d like to hear when the next group opens, write to me at hello@catherinepolet.coach.
Would you rather work one to one? I also coach online. Book a free 20-minute call, and tell me what’s been frustrating you lately. We’ll look together at what is already going well, and build from there.
About Catherine
I’m Catherine Polet, a holistic nutrition health coach, yoga and autogenic training teacher for more than 30 years, author and speaker. I help people find a way of eating and living that suits their own body, online in English, French, Spanish and German, and in person in Southwest France.
