Photo by Alex Alvarez on Unsplash
In short: Looking after your mental health is mostly a matter of small, ordinary things done regularly: sleeping enough, eating and drinking properly, moving, getting daylight, writing things down, and staying close to people who are good for you. You don’t need to do all eleven tips. Choose one, start today, and be kind to yourself when a day goes wrong. And if you feel low for weeks, or it all feels too heavy, please ask for help: that is part of looking after yourself too.
It’s a grey afternoon. You slept badly, you ate lunch standing up, and you’ve been at your desk since morning without really getting anything done. Someone asks how you are and you say “fine, just tired”. Nothing is terribly wrong. But you don’t feel like yourself, and you can’t remember the last day when you did.
Most of us say that our mental health matters to us. Far fewer of us do something about it on an ordinary Tuesday. I understand why: when you feel flat, even a small change can look like a mountain. So here are eleven simple things that help, with a few words on how to begin without overwhelming yourself.
What can you do every day for your mental health?
Let’s start with the body, because your mind lives in it. When your body is rested, fed and moving, everything else becomes a little easier.
1. Protect your sleep
Sleep is a basic need, and it’s the first thing we cut when the day feels too short. You know you’re not getting enough when you’re tired through the day, when you nod off on the sofa, when small things irritate you. Enough sleep helps your concentration, your memory and your mood, and it makes stress and worry easier to carry.
Start with a regular rhythm: go to bed and get up at about the same time, weekends included, so your body knows what to expect. Then give yourself an hour to wind down. Dim the lights, put the screens away, skip the coffee and the lively exercise, and do something quiet that you enjoy: read, paint, meditate. I’ve written more about this in simple habits for better nights.
2. Feed and water yourself properly
Your brain needs nourishment just as your muscles do. The first thing is simply to eat and drink enough. Skipping meals makes you cranky and tired, so if your days are unpredictable, keep some fruit or a handful of nuts in your bag, and a bottle of water.
What you eat matters too. Heavily processed food fills you up without giving your body much to work with, so choose fresh, simple food as often as you can. A shopping list and a rough idea of the week’s meals make it much easier to stay on track when you’re tired.
And drink water. Fizzy drinks don’t count: they’re mostly sugar. Your body doesn’t always tell hunger and thirst apart, so sometimes what feels like hunger is a need for a glass of water. Being short of water also makes you more tense and less able to cope, which is why staying hydrated helps your mood and energy.
3. Move in a way you enjoy
Movement strengthens your body, and it gives your mind a rest from its own chatter. It also helps you sleep better and gives you more energy.
You don’t have to punish yourself. Find something you like, so that it never feels like a chore: a walk, a bike ride, yoga, a swim, the gym, a run. Go with a friend if that makes it more fun and gets you out of the door. Then notice how you feel afterwards. The next time you’re angry, frustrated or sad, try moving for a little while and see what changes. If you’d like ideas, have a look at gentle ways to move every day.
4. Get outside into the daylight
Daylight and mood are closely linked. Many people feel lower in winter, when the days are short and we stay indoors. So go outside every day, even briefly, and especially in the darker months: a walk at lunchtime, your coffee on the doorstep, the long way round to the shops. Morning light is particularly helpful, as I explain in my article on looking after your body clock in winter.
How do you calm a busy, worried mind?
5. Write down what you’re grateful for, and what you’ve achieved
This is a very simple exercise. Every day, in the morning or in the evening, write down the things you’re grateful for.
In the morning, you can give thanks for the day ahead and the good things you expect from it. It sets the tone. In the evening, you can look back: the people you love, your home, your work, and the small things that happened today, a funny film, somebody’s smile.
Then add what you’ve achieved, however modest. Seeing it on paper shows you how far you’ve come, and you’re allowed to be proud of it. Done daily, this gently changes what you notice. There’s more on this in how gratitude can change your outlook.
6. Feel your emotions, and write them down
It’s human to feel sad or angry. It happens to every one of us. Bottling it up doesn’t make it go away, so let it out, and cry if you need to.
Writing helps here as well. When your head is full of worries, put them on paper, just as they come. It doesn’t matter whether you write well or whether your sentences make sense. As you write, your mind clears, and it becomes easier to see why you feel the way you do and what you might do about it. Nobody will read it or judge it, so don’t hold back.
7. Look at things differently
Sometimes we add to our own unhappiness by the way we look at things. Something goes wrong, and we see only what was lost. We complain, we go over it again, we look for who was to blame.
Being optimistic doesn’t come easily to everyone, and I’m not asking you to pretend that hard things are easy. But you can ask yourself a different question: what can I learn from this, and what can I take from it? What you take from an experience is what moves you forward. I come back to this idea in Mind your thoughts, change your life.
8. Break the routine now and then
A routine is useful, but it can turn into a loop, and at some point your mind asks for a change. Keep your usual structure and add small twists: move the furniture around, take a different route to work, visit somewhere you’ve never been, meet someone new, plan a day out with friends on the spur of the moment.
Who do you have around you?
9. Cherish your relationships
The people in our lives affect how we feel every day. When things are tense with someone close to us, it weighs on everything else. So look after your relationships. Tell the people you love that you love them, and show them that they matter. It does them good, and it does you good too.
Helping others belongs here as well. A listening ear, a bit of practical support, a word of encouragement: being useful to someone else lifts you, too.
10. Keep good people close
Stay near the people who support you, who help you and who bring out the best in you. And, although it can be difficult, allow yourself some distance from those who pull you down or don’t see your worth. You don’t have to make a drama of it. You can simply choose where your time and energy go.
11. Ask for help
If something is troubling you, in your mind or in your body, you can always ask for help. Showing that you’re vulnerable is simply human. Talk to someone close to you: another point of view can make a problem look different, and being heard is a relief in itself.
You can also turn to a professional. Your doctor, a psychologist or a therapist can give you support that friends and family, with all their love, can’t. Asking is a sign that you’re taking yourself seriously.
How do you start when you feel low?
Many of the people I work with have the same struggle: they know what would help, and they can’t get going. A few things make it easier.
Plan a little. Sit down with a piece of paper and write what you could do this week: a few meals, the days you’ll walk, the time you’ll go to bed. Putting it on paper already clears your head.
Keep your goals realistic. We tend to bite off more than we can chew, and then feel worse when we can’t keep up. Progress takes time. Think big if you like, and plan small.
Start today. We’ve all said “I’ll start tomorrow” or “I’ll start on Monday”. I’m guilty of it too. But if you wait for the right moment or the right mood, something will always get in the way. One small thing today is worth more than a perfect plan for next week.
Don’t make it all or nothing. A day that doesn’t go to plan isn’t a reason to give up. If you’re invited to a restaurant, you can enjoy your evening and still choose something that suits you. Adapt, and carry on.
Reward yourself, but not always with food. After a good day or a hard one, we often reach for something sweet. It feels nice for a moment and less nice afterwards. Find other treats: a long bath, an afternoon at the spa, a book you’ve wanted for a long time.
I made a short video about this, you can watch it below.
Try this today
Drink a glass of water now, and put a bottle where you can see it.
Go outside for ten minutes while it’s light.
Tonight, write down three things you’re grateful for and one thing you managed today.
Send a message to someone you’ve been meaning to call.
Choose your bedtime, and start winding down an hour before.
One of these is enough. Pick the one that feels easiest.
Frequently asked questions
Do I have to do all eleven tips?
No. Choose the one that feels easiest this week and start there. One small habit kept for a month does more for you than eleven kept for three days. When it has become part of your day, add a second.
What if I miss a day or have a bad week?
Then you start again at the next meal, the next walk, the next evening. A missed day changes nothing. What matters is that you come back without telling yourself off.
Can food really affect my mood?
Food is one piece among several, and it is a real one. Regular meals, enough water and plenty of fresh, simple food give your brain what it needs to work steadily. Skipped meals and a lot of sugar tend to make you tired and irritable. Food supports your mental health, it does not replace medical care when you need it.
How do I help someone close to me who is struggling?
Be there, listen more than you advise, and ask what would help. Offer something concrete, such as a walk together or a meal. If you are worried about them, encourage them gently to see their doctor, and offer to go with them.
When should I talk to my doctor?
Talk to your doctor if you have felt low, anxious or empty on most days for two weeks or more, if your sleep or appetite has changed a lot, if you have lost interest in things you used to enjoy, or if you are finding it hard to cope with work, home or the people around you. You do not have to wait until it is serious, and you do not need to have the right words. If you have thoughts of harming yourself or of not wanting to be here, please do not wait: call your local emergency number or a crisis line straight away, and tell someone close to you.
Would you like some help?
Sleep, food, movement and the small habits that keep you steady are what we work on in my group programmes in nutrition and health, such as Six Tuesdays in Montignac. If you’d like to hear when the next group opens, write to me at hello@catherinepolet.coach.
Would you rather talk one to one? I also coach online. Book a free 20-minute call, and we’ll look together at which of these eleven would make the biggest difference to how you feel.
About Catherine
I’m Catherine Polet, a holistic nutrition health coach, yoga and autogenic training teacher for more than 30 years, author and speaker. I help people find a way of eating and living that suits their own body, online in English, French, Spanish and German, and in person in Southwest France.
