Photo by Diana Schröder-Bode on Unsplash
In short: You reach a health goal by deciding that it truly matters to you, breaking it into small steps and repeating those steps until they become habits you no longer have to think about. You don’t need a new year or a Monday for that. You need a clear reason, a simple plan, a way of seeing your progress, and patience with yourself.
It’s Sunday evening. You’ve decided that this week will be different: more vegetables, a walk every day, in bed before eleven. Monday goes well. On Tuesday there’s a late meeting. On Wednesday it rains. By Friday the plan is quietly forgotten, and you tell yourself you’ll start again properly next month, after the holidays, in January.
If that’s familiar, you’re in very good company, mine included. For some years now I haven’t made New Year’s resolutions, because I haven’t always been able to follow them. Yes, I’m guilty of that too. The date was never the point. What counts is taking the decision, and then starting.
Why do resolutions fade so quickly?
Because a resolution is usually a picture of the result, with nothing underneath it. We imagine ourselves fitter, calmer, healthier, and we half expect it to happen by itself. We forget the process: the steps we need to take, the time it will ask for, the planning. When things don’t turn out the way we imagined, we give up. It’s very common, and it isn’t a weakness of character. It’s the wrong approach.
So I’d invite you to set a real goal: something for your daily life, where a resolution is a wish you make once a year. And a real change can begin on any day of the year.
Why is it so hard to change a habit?
Habits shape our days far more than we realise. Many of them are so deeply rooted that we don’t notice them any more. You hang your jacket on the coat rack when you come home. You rinse your coffee cup as soon as it’s empty. You walk round the supermarket by the same route every week. You don’t decide any of this. It simply happens.
A new habit is the opposite. It’s one more thing to think about every day, and your brain finds that tiring. It would much rather do what it already knows. That’s why the first weeks feel like such an effort, and why so many of us stop there.
But hard doesn’t mean impossible. It’s only complicated at the beginning. Once you’ve done something for long enough and it has its place in your routine, you do it without thinking, just like the jacket on the coat rack. The more often you do it, the more your brain will want to do it by itself. I look at this more closely in why change is hard, and how to make healthy habits stick.
When is the right moment to start?
Now. I say that kindly. If you keep postponing, your brain never gets the chance to become used to the new habit, so it goes on costing you a great deal of energy each time you think about it. Starting, even very small, is what makes it lighter.
“Now” can be tiny. A glass of water before your coffee tomorrow morning. Ten minutes outside after lunch. A piece of fruit in your bag. You don’t have to change everything today. You only have to begin.
How do you set a health goal you’ll keep?
These are the steps that helped me reach my own goals, and that I use in my coaching.
1. Ask yourself whether it really matters to you
Is this goal truly yours, or is it what everyone else seems to want? Are you ready to commit to it and to change something in your daily life? A goal you’ve borrowed from a magazine or a neighbour won’t carry you through a rainy Wednesday.
2. Find your why
What makes you want this change, and why this goal in particular? Perhaps you want more energy for your family, fewer aches, a calmer mind, a body that will take you travelling for many years to come. Once you know what moves you, the steps become much clearer. A picture of where you’re heading helps too, and I wrote about that in the benefits of having a clear vision for your health.
3. Write it down
Put your goal on paper and make it official. As long as it stays in your head, it’s only an idea. Written down, it becomes something you take seriously. Keep it somewhere you’ll see it: on the fridge, inside your diary, by the kettle.
4. Plan the process
This is the part we tend to skip. What will you do, on which days, at what time? What do you need to have in the house? What will you do when your day goes wrong? “Eat better” is a wish. “Make a big pot of vegetable soup on Sunday for my lunches” is a plan.
5. Believe that you can do it
You won’t get far with a goal you only half believe in. Give it your attention, and trust yourself: you’re capable of this. If you have faith in your goal and take it seriously, you have very little reason to abandon it.
6. Keep track of your progress
There will be times when you feel you’re standing still, and that’s frustrating. It happens above all when you don’t keep any record. So note what you do, even in two lines. Looking back over a few weeks, you’ll see how far you’ve come, and that keeps you going. Progress doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, so stay realistic.
7. Think about what happens if you stop
On the days when you feel like giving up, ask yourself how you’ll feel if you do. Proud? Relieved for an evening and disappointed afterwards? What would it mean, in the short and in the long term, for your health, for the people around you, for your work? Very often that question is enough to get you back on your feet.
What does that look like on an ordinary day?
Take a goal such as having more energy in the afternoon. The steps might be: breakfast with some protein, a proper lunch away from your screen, a short walk afterwards, and lights out a little earlier. Don’t start all of them on the same day. Choose one, attach it to something you already do, and stay with it until it feels normal.
Attaching is the secret. After I brush my teeth, I drink a glass of water. When the kettle is on, I stretch. When I close my laptop, I put my shoes on and go round the block. The old habit pulls the new one along. A gentle start to the day helps many people, and you’ll find ideas in the power of a morning routine.
Try this today
Write one sentence that begins “I want to...” and a second one that begins “because...”.
Choose the smallest possible first step, one you could do even on a bad day.
Decide when and where it happens, and what it follows in your day.
Put a notebook or a calendar where you’ll see it and tick off each day you do it.
Tell one person. It’s surprising how much that helps.
If you’d like more ideas for the habits themselves, have a look at what healthy habits can do for you and at my questions and answers on developing healthy habits. And for the season when routines are hardest to keep, here’s how to stay on track during the holidays.
What if you slip?
You will, like all of us. A missed walk or a week of takeaways doesn’t cancel what you’ve built. Look at what got in the way, make the step smaller if you need to, and begin again at the next meal or the next morning. Don’t wait for the next Monday, and certainly don’t wait for the next January.
Never forget: it’s about progress, not perfection.
Frequently asked questions
Do I have to wait for January or a Monday to start?
No. The best moment is the one when you have truly decided, whether that is a Thursday in March or a rainy afternoon in October. Waiting for a special date mostly gives you more time to put it off. Start small, today, with the next meal or the next walk.
How long does it take for a new habit to feel natural?
It varies from person to person and from habit to habit. A simple one, such as a glass of water when you get up, settles quickly. A bigger one, such as cooking most evenings, takes longer. What matters is repeating it often enough, in the same place in your day, until you no longer have to think about it.
What if I miss a day, or a whole week?
Then you pick it up again at the next opportunity, without making a drama of it. One missed day changes nothing. What undoes a habit is the thought that you have spoilt everything. Look at what got in the way, adjust your plan if it was too ambitious, and carry on.
How many goals should I work on at once?
One, or two at the most. Every new habit asks for attention and energy at the beginning, and you only have so much of both. When the first one runs by itself, you have room for the next.
When should I talk to my doctor?
Before you change the way you eat or exercise in a big way, talk to your doctor if you have a health condition, take medication, are pregnant, or have not been active for a long time. See your doctor too if you are tired all the time, if your weight changes without reason, or if a symptom worries you. Coaching supports medical care and never replaces it.
Would you like some help?
Changing habits is easier with someone beside you. That’s my work as a holistic nutrition health coach: helping you choose the habits that suit you, start them simply and keep them, so that food stops being a worry and you feel in charge of your health again. Building habits step by step is at the heart of my group programmes in nutrition and health, such as Six Tuesdays in Montignac. If you’d like to know when the next group opens, write to me at hello@catherinepolet.coach.
Would you rather work one to one? I also coach online. Book a free 20-minute call, whenever it suits you, and tell me about the goal you keep putting off. We’ll find its first small step together.
About Catherine
I’m Catherine Polet, a holistic nutrition health coach, yoga and autogenic training teacher for more than 30 years, author and speaker. I help people find a way of eating and living that suits their own body, online in English, French, Spanish and German, and in person in Southwest France.
