Photo by Long Truong on Unsplash
In short: How you begin and end your day shapes everything in between. A few simple things in the morning (a steady wake-up time, some movement, a good breakfast, a moment of gratitude and intention) and a few in the evening (screens off, a book, a journal, something that relaxes you) give your days two calm bookends. The two belong together: a good evening makes the next morning, and a good morning makes the evening easier.
The alarm goes off and your hand is on your phone before your eyes are properly open. Messages, news, the weather, somebody’s holiday photos. Ten minutes later you’re rushing, breakfast is a coffee standing up, and the day has started without you. Then, at the other end, you fall into bed after one more episode with the feeling that the day went by and you can’t quite say what was in it.
Have you ever woken up already overwhelmed, or gone to bed dissatisfied with your day? Finding joy and fulfilment in daily life can be hard with so much pulling at your attention. I’d like to suggest something simple: give your day a beginning and an end that belong to you.
Why do the two ends of the day matter so much?
The middle of your day mostly belongs to other people: work, family, appointments, whatever turns up. The first and last half hour are different. They’re the parts you can shape, and they colour everything else. A morning that starts calmly tends to give you a steadier day. An evening that ends gently tends to give you a better night, and so a better morning.
That’s why the two routines work as one circle, each preparing the other. If mornings are a struggle for you, the answer is often to be found the evening before. I’ve written about each of them separately, in the power of a morning routine and in how to wind down in the evening for better sleep. Here I want to look at how they work as a pair, and at what turns a routine from a list of tasks into a source of joy.
A morning routine for joy and fulfilment
The morning sets the tone. These six things help you start grounded and ready for whatever the day brings. You don’t need all of them. Choose the ones that speak to you.
1. Wake up at the same time every day
Try to get up at the same time each day, weekends included. Your body loves regularity. When it knows what to expect, falling asleep and waking up both get easier, and your sleep gets deeper. In the dark months this takes a little more care, and I explain how in looking after your body clock in winter.
2. Get moving
Begin with some movement. It can be as simple as stretching by the bed, a few yoga postures or a brisk walk round the block. Movement gets your blood flowing, lifts your mood and tells your body that the day has begun.
3. Eat a nourishing breakfast
Give your body something real to work with: some protein, healthy fats and slow carbs. Eggs on wholegrain toast, porridge with nuts and fruit, yoghurt with seeds. A breakfast like this keeps you going through the morning, where a coffee and a biscuit leave you hungry and edgy by eleven.
4. Practise gratitude
Take a moment to think of what you’re grateful for. The warm bed, the person next to you, the light coming through the window. It sounds like very little, yet it turns your attention towards what is already good before the day starts listing what’s missing. I’ve written more about this in how gratitude can change your outlook.
5. Set your intention for the day
Ask yourself what you’d like from today. It needn’t be a list of tasks: it can be one thing you want to get done, or a way you’d like to be, such as patient, present or unhurried. An intention gives your energy a direction and your day a sense of purpose.
6. Write in your journal
A few minutes with a notebook is a powerful way to begin. Write down your goals, what you’re grateful for, or simply what’s on your mind. Putting thoughts on paper gets them out of your head, where they go round in circles, and lets you look at them. Over time you start to see patterns, and you come to know yourself better. That’s where a deeper sense of fulfilment grows.
An evening routine for joy and fulfilment
Your evening is just as important as your morning. It prepares your night, and it lets you close the day feeling that it was a good one.
1. Turn off your screens
Put away the television, phone and computer about an hour before bed. The light from screens tells your body it’s still daytime, and what you see on them keeps your mind busy long after you’ve put them down.
2. Read a book
A few pages of a book slow your thoughts and take you somewhere else. Paper is best, and nothing too gripping, or you’ll still be reading at midnight.
3. Write in your journal
Look back over your day and write down what happened and how you felt. It helps you digest the day and put down what was heavy, so you don’t carry it into the night. Finish with what you got done and what you’re grateful for. You’ll go to sleep with those thoughts, and not with your worries.
4. Relax your body
Try some deep breathing, meditation, a warm bath or autogenic training, which I teach. Each of these tells your body that the effort is over and it can let go.
5. Give yourself enough sleep
Go to bed early enough to wake up rested. This is where the circle closes: your steady wake-up time only works if your bedtime allows for a full night. If you need help here, have a look at my simple habits for better nights.
6. Do something kind for yourself
Looking after yourself is a way of showing yourself love and appreciation, and it matters as much as anything else in your day. Keep a little time in the evening for something that helps you unwind and gives you pleasure: a cup of herbal tea, hand cream, music, a few quiet minutes in the garden. If the weekdays leave you no room at all, you can start with one day a week, as I describe in my Sunday self-care routine.
What do you gain from having both?
When you start and end each day with intention and reflection, something shifts. Your days stop running into each other. You sleep better, so you have more energy. You know what matters to you today, so you spend less time being pulled about. Writing helps you understand yourself, and it lightens your mood. The small acts of care in the evening bring your stress down and give you the feeling of being in charge of your own life again.
And there is joy in the routine itself: the quiet of the house before anyone else is up, the first sip of something warm, the pleasure of closing your notebook at night on a day you really noticed.
How do you make it stick?
Start smaller than you think you should. Choose one thing for the evening and one for the morning, and link each to something you already do. For example:
This evening, when you’ve brushed your teeth, leave your phone to charge outside the bedroom and put a book on your pillow.
Put a notebook and pen next to the kettle. Tomorrow, while the water boils, write one thing you’re grateful for and one thing you’d like from the day.
Tomorrow evening, before you turn off the light, write one thing that went well.
Keep to these for two weeks before you add anything. Let the routine fit your life: with small children, shift work or a long commute, yours will look different from anyone else’s, and that’s as it should be. If change tends to slip away from you after a few days, you may find some help in why change is hard, and how to make healthy habits stick.
Frequently asked questions
How long should a morning and evening routine take?
As long as you can keep it up on an ordinary working day. Ten or fifteen minutes at each end of the day is plenty to begin with. A short routine you follow most days does far more for you than a long one you give up after a week.
Which should I start with, the morning or the evening?
Start with the evening. A calmer evening and an earlier night make the morning much easier, and trying to get up earlier without going to bed earlier only leaves you tired. Once your evenings feel settled, add one thing to your morning.
What if I miss a day?
Nothing is lost. A routine is there to serve you, and one missed morning doesn’t undo the others. Pick it up again the next day without scolding yourself, and if you keep missing the same step, make it smaller or move it to a better moment.
I don’t know what to write in a journal. Where do I begin?
Begin with three lines. In the morning: one thing you’re grateful for and one thing you’d like from the day. In the evening: one thing that went well. You don’t need full sentences or a beautiful notebook, and nobody will read it but you.
When should I talk to my doctor?
If you sleep badly for several weeks, wake up exhausted whatever you do, or feel low or anxious most days, please see your doctor. Routines support your wellbeing, but they don’t replace medical advice when something is wrong.
Would you like some help?
Building daily rhythms that suit your real life, from breakfast to bedtime, is part of what we do in my group programmes in nutrition and health, such as Six Tuesdays in Montignac. If you’d like to know when the next group opens, write to me at hello@catherinepolet.coach.
Would you rather work one to one? I also coach online. Book a free 20-minute call, and tell me what your mornings and evenings look like now. We’ll find the one small change to begin with.
About Catherine
I’m Catherine Polet, a holistic nutrition health coach, yoga and autogenic training teacher for more than 30 years, author and speaker. I help people find a way of eating and living that suits their own body, online in English, French, Spanish and German, and in person in Southwest France.
