Photo by Henri Pham on Unsplash
In short: Joy is a quiet sense of peace and contentment that comes from within, and it can be there even when life isn’t easy. It does your body, your mind and your relationships good, and it can be learned. You’ll find it most reliably in small everyday moments, in gratitude, in being present and in the people you love.
You’re hanging out the washing on a bright morning. The sheets smell clean, a bird is singing somewhere, and for no particular reason you feel completely at ease. Nothing special has happened. Nothing needed to. That is joy, and most of us would love to feel it more often.
Joy is something we all experience from time to time: a moment of happiness, a simple pleasure, a deep sense of contentment. It’s a lovely feeling, and it’s also essential for your wellbeing. So sit back, get comfortable, and let’s go through the questions people ask most often about joy and the difference it makes to our lives.
Frequently asked questions
Understanding joy
What is joy, and why is it important?
Joy is that feeling of contentment that washes over you and makes everything a little brighter and lighter. It isn’t quite the same as happiness. Happiness usually follows a particular event, while joy is more a state of mind: an underlying sense of peace that comes from within and can be present even when things aren’t going well on the outside.
It matters because it does you good in every way. People who have more joy in their lives tend to be less stressed, to sleep better and to feel stronger, in body and in mind. And joy has a ripple effect: it spreads to the people around you, lifts their spirits and brings you closer together. It can make even a dark day bearable.
What is the difference between joy and happiness?
The two words are often used as if they meant the same thing, but they’re quite distinct. Happiness is a passing emotion that comes and goes with what is happening around you. You feel happy when you receive a lovely message, eat your favourite dish or spend an afternoon with people you love.
Joy runs deeper and lasts longer. It comes from within and doesn’t depend on circumstances, so it can keep you company through a difficult time and give you a sense of meaning. Happiness also tends to be about ourselves, while joy looks outwards: it often comes from doing something for others and from feeling that your life has a purpose. I look at this more closely in joy and happiness: two sides of the same coin?
What are some common misconceptions about joy?
Here are four of the most common.
“Joy never lasts.” It does come and go, but you can build a sense of joy and contentment that returns again and again, through gratitude, presence and connection.
“Joy belongs to the big moments.” Weddings and births are joyful, of course. But joy also lives in the most ordinary minutes of an ordinary day, once you learn to look.
“Joy is selfish or superficial.” It’s the opposite. When you’re joyful you’re kinder and more generous, and the people around you feel it.
“Joy is for a certain kind of person.” Joy is universal. Whatever your background, your temperament or your circumstances, it is open to you.
If one of these ideas has been holding you back, you can let it go.
Can anyone experience joy?
Yes, anyone. Some people have a sunnier nature than others, but joy isn’t reserved for them. It’s a natural emotion that all of us can feel, whatever our situation.
It helps to remember that joy doesn’t have to come from achievements or great events. Many people find it in a beautiful sunrise, a kind gesture from a stranger or a quiet hour with someone they love. And feeling joy doesn’t mean you never feel sad. It means there are moments of contentment in your life even when it is hard. It’s a matter of being open to joy and going to meet it.
Can joy be learned or developed?
Yes, absolutely. If joy doesn’t seem to come naturally to you, please don’t conclude that it isn’t for you. Some of us may be more inclined to it than others, but it’s a skill, and skills grow with practice. Here is what helps:
Practise gratitude. Take a moment each day to think of what you’re thankful for, and turn your attention on purpose to what is good in your life.
Seek out joyful experiences. Notice what brings you joy and make more room for it: people, a favourite hobby, new places.
Connect with others. Volunteer, join a club, accept the invitation.
Practise mindfulness. Meditation, yoga or a few deep breaths during the day help you notice the small joys you’d otherwise walk past.
Choose positivity. Spend time with people who lift you, and be kind, compassionate and understanding, towards yourself as well as others.
Joy and your health
How does joy impact my physical health?
More than you might think. The most important effect is on stress. When you feel joy, your body lets go: your shoulders drop, your breathing slows, your heart settles. Joy is the natural counterweight to tension, and a body that isn’t under constant strain copes better with everything, including the coughs and colds of winter.
Joy also helps you sleep. When you’re content, it’s easier to relax and switch off in the evening, and your nights are more restful. Good sleep, in turn, supports your health in every way. If your nights need attention, have a look at simple habits for better sleep.
How does joy impact mental health?
Joy is a real ally for your mind. First, it eases stress and worry. A joyful moment lifts your mood, loosens anxious thoughts and leaves you calmer. I explain this in plain words in why joy is the ultimate brain boost.
Second, it makes you more resilient. With some joy in your life, you feel better equipped for setbacks, you recover more quickly, and you keep hope alive when things get tough.
Third, it feeds your sense of purpose. When you feel joyful and fulfilled, you feel more connected to the world around you and more eager to follow what matters to you. Joy supports your mental health, but it doesn’t replace care: if you feel low most days, or nothing gives you pleasure any more, please talk to your doctor.
Joy, other people and your work
Can joy improve my relationships?
Have you noticed that when you feel joyful, things go better with the people around you? It isn’t your imagination. When you’re content, you’re more patient, kinder and more understanding, and you’re simply nicer to be with.
Joy also strengthens bonds. You say thank you more readily, you laugh together, you show small kindnesses, and all of this builds trust and closeness. And it helps when things are tense: from a place of joy, it’s easier to stay calm, to say what you mean and to listen, so disagreements end in understanding more often than in slammed doors. You may also enjoy why happy relationships nourish us.
Can joy be contagious?
Yes. Think of someone you know who radiates joy. It’s almost impossible not to be touched by it, isn’t it? We pick up the feelings of the people around us without even realising, the pleasant ones just as much as anger or sadness. A smile, a laugh, a warm way of being: all of it passes from one person to the next, and then to the next again.
So the best way to spread joy is to tend it in yourself first. Then share it on purpose. Tell people about the lovely things that happen to you. Pay a compliment. Encourage someone. Let your joy show, and watch it travel.
Can joy be experienced alone?
Yes, absolutely. We often link joy with company, but it can be just as deep in solitude.
One way is to do the things you love: reading, writing, painting, playing music. Creative activities draw on your imagination and are deeply rewarding in your own company. Another is to spend time in nature. A walk in the woods, an hour by a river or simply sitting in your garden calms the mind and lifts the spirit. And mindfulness and gratitude work beautifully alone: a few quiet minutes each day to be present and to think of what you’re thankful for.
So if you ever feel lonely or cut off, remember that joy is also there for you in your own company.
How can joy impact our work life?
We tend to think of joy as something for our private lives. But it makes a great difference at work too, whether you run your own business, work for a large organisation or for a charity.
When you find joy in your work, you’re more motivated and more engaged. You bring energy and enthusiasm to what you do, and you’re more productive and more creative as a result. You’re also a better colleague: more positive, more supportive, more willing to work with others, which makes the whole atmosphere warmer.
And joy protects your balance. When your work gives you joy and meaning, you’re less likely to feel overwhelmed or burnt out, and more able to look after yourself alongside it. So ask yourself what gives you joy and meaning in your work, and look for ways to do more of that, together with others.
How can joy impact my spiritual life?
For many people, joy is an essential part of their spiritual life, a way of feeling connected to something greater than themselves. In a moment of joy, you feel part of the world and grateful for its beauty and goodness. Joy shared with others also creates a sense of unity and belonging that can be deeply spiritual.
Gratitude is one way in: when you turn your attention to the blessings in your life, you appreciate the world around you more fully. Meditation or prayer is another. Taking time to quiet your mind lets you touch a peace and joy that go beyond everyday worries. Seen like this, joy is more than an emotion. It’s a way of living and of being in the world.
Bringing more joy into your days
How can I experience more joy in my life?
Do you feel that something is missing, or do you often feel stressed, anxious or simply flat? Then it may be time to make more room for joy. It doesn’t have to be complicated:
Practise gratitude. Keep a gratitude notebook, or take a few minutes each day to think about the good things in your life. I explain how in how gratitude can change your outlook.
Do things that give you pleasure. Reading, hiking, cooking, time with loved ones. Whatever it is for you, do it regularly.
Connect with others. Go out for dinner, go for a walk together, or just chat on the phone.
Practise mindfulness. Meditation, yoga or a few deep breaths during the day bring you back to the present, where joy is found.
Do something kind for someone else. Helping others gives your own life joy and purpose.
Be patient with yourself. Joy grows with practice, and you deserve it.
Can joy be found in everyday life?
Absolutely. Some of the most joyful moments are the smallest ones: the sun on your face, a good cup of coffee in the morning, a kind word from a friend, a beautiful sunset, a moment of peace and quiet in a busy day.
Finding joy in everyday life is about being present and appreciating what is already here, instead of dwelling on what is missing. Mindfulness helps: pay attention to your thoughts, your feelings and your surroundings, and you begin to notice these moments. Doing things you love helps too, as does time for rest and self-care. I share more in 18 FAQs on mindfulness.
Can joy be sustained for long periods?
Have you ever felt a moment of pure joy, only for it to fade almost at once? Joy does ebb and flow. But you can make it a steadier presence in your life:
Practise gratitude regularly. It keeps your attention on what is good, even in challenging times.
Stay with the present moment. Our minds live in the past or the future, and that robs us of the joy that is here now.
Keep doing what you enjoy. Don’t let the things you love slip out of your week.
Look after your relationships. Invest in family and friends, and seek out people who share your interests and values.
Take care of yourself. Movement, healthy food and enough sleep help you feel your best.
Lasting joy takes a little intention, and it is well worth it.
How can I find joy in difficult times?
Life tests all of us, and in hard times joy can seem very far away. It’s still possible to find it. Here is what helps:
Look for the small joys. A cup of tea, your favourite song, a walk outside. They’re still there.
Look for the silver lining. There are often small blessings in a difficult situation, even if they seem minor.
Look for moments of beauty. A flower opening, a bird singing, a smile, a child playing. They bring a sense of peace.
Focus on what you can control. Your attitude and your actions are yours, even when little else is.
Practise gratitude. It gently shifts your perspective when everything looks dark.
Be kind to yourself. Feeling sad or overwhelmed is normal in hard times. Don’t scold yourself for it. Give yourself the space and time you need to heal.
Ask for professional help. If joy stays out of reach, a therapist or counsellor can help you work through what you feel.
Take things one day at a time. That is enough.
What are some common obstacles to experiencing joy?
Several things can stand in the way:
Stress and anxiety. When your mind is full of what is worrying you, it’s hard to turn towards what is good. You’ll find practical help in 18 FAQs on stress.
Negative self-talk. If you criticise yourself all day long, you can’t enjoy what you do well. See how to quieten your inner critic.
Fear. Worrying about the future, or being afraid to take a risk, keeps you from the joy of trying new things.
Past trauma. Painful experiences can leave feelings that are hard to let go of, and they get between you and the present.
Lack of connection. We are social beings. When you feel isolated, joy is harder to reach.
None of these makes joy impossible. Turn your attention to gratitude, take care of yourself, spend time with others, and ask for support from the people you love or from a therapist if you need it. Keep going, gently.
How can I cultivate more joy in my life today?
Start today, with small and deliberate steps. Build a few positive habits into your daily routine: a moment of gratitude, something that gives you pleasure, a real conversation with someone you love, and good care of your body and your mind. Little by little, your outlook shifts and you begin to see the joy that is already in your life.
Joy is a state of being that you grow through what you do and how you look at things. Start small, build on your progress, and it will become a natural part of your days. For a simple framework, see the three pillars of joy and fulfilment.
Would you like some help?
Joy has a lot to do with how well you look after yourself: what you eat, how you rest, how you move and who you spend time with. That is what we work on in my group programmes in nutrition and health, such as Six Tuesdays in Montignac. If you’d like to hear when the next group opens, write to me at hello@catherinepolet.coach.
Would you rather work one to one? I also coach online. Book a free 20-minute call, and bring the question about joy that I haven’t answered here. I’d be glad to hear it.
About Catherine
I’m Catherine Polet, a holistic nutrition health coach, yoga and autogenic training teacher for more than 30 years, author and speaker. I help people find a way of eating and living that suits their own body, online in English, French, Spanish and German, and in person in Southwest France.
