Photo by Damian Siodłak on Unsplash
In short: You can’t control everything that happens to you, but you can choose how you react and which step you take next. Dreams become real through a clear direction, small actions repeated day after day, and the freedom to adjust along the way. Look after yourself while you do it, stay close to what matters to you, and celebrate each bit of progress.
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.”
Dr. Seuss
It’s Sunday evening. The week ahead is already laid out: the same alarm, the same road, the same list. Somewhere in the back of your mind there’s something you’ve wanted for a long time. A change of work, more energy, a body you feel at home in, a project you keep putting off until things are quieter. And things are never quieter.
These words by Dr. Seuss were written for children, and they say something adults forget very easily: you have what you need to steer. You may not decide the weather, but you do hold the wheel.
What does it mean to have the power of choice?
It doesn’t mean that everything is in your hands. Illness, other people’s decisions, the economy, a difficult year: a great deal happens without asking your opinion. What stays yours is how you react, and what you do next.
It’s easy to get caught up in the daily struggle and feel that you’re only going through the motions. Yet every moment holds a choice, even a tiny one. You can let life happen to you, or you can decide where you’d like to go and turn a little in that direction.
The road towards something you really want is rarely smooth. There will be obstacles, and days when you wonder why you started. That’s normal, and it’s no sign that you chose badly. If you’d like to go deeper into this idea, I wrote about it in how we respond to life’s challenges.
Where do you want to go?
You can’t steer without a direction. So ask yourself, honestly: what do you want? Where would you like to be in five or ten years? How do you want to feel when you wake up in the morning?
Write the answer down, in your own words, as precisely as you can. “I want to be healthier” is a wish. “I want to walk up the hill behind the house without stopping, and have energy left for the evening” is a direction. A clear vision gives every small decision something to lean on.
Then comes the part that makes the difference: action. Setting a goal is only the first step. After that you step out of your comfort zone, you face what frightens you, and you do the work, day in and day out. It doesn’t need to be heroic. It needs to be regular.
How do you stay true to yourself along the way?
When you chase a goal, there’s a risk of losing yourself in it. You try so hard to succeed, or to please, that you forget what you stand for. Stay connected to your inner voice, and make choices that fit who you are.
A simple test: when you imagine having reached your goal, do you feel relief and joy, or mainly the approval of others? If it’s the second, the goal may belong to someone else.
The road won’t be a straight line either. There will be detours, setbacks and things that simply don’t work. They’re part of the process. Each one teaches you something about the goal or about yourself, and you can use it to adjust your plan. I like to say that there are no mistakes, only opportunities.
What helps you keep steering?
1. Look after yourself first
Self-care is often the first thing to go when we’re working towards something, and it’s the thing that keeps us going. Make time for what nourishes your body and your soul: movement, meditation, time in nature, people who bring you joy. Take a break when you need to recharge.
This is also where the power of choice becomes very down to earth. On an ordinary Tuesday, you choose whether you eat lunch at the table or in front of the screen, whether you drink water or forget to, whether you go to bed or watch one more episode. None of these choices looks like much. Together, they decide how much energy you have for your dreams.
2. Choose who you spend time with
It’s hard to stay motivated on your own when things get tough. Look for people who inspire you and believe in you: friends, mentors, a group that shares your interests. Learn from those who have already done what you’re hoping to do. And when you need help, ask for it. There’s no shame in seeking guidance or support.
3. Stay adaptable
Life is full of surprises. A plan matters, and so does the freedom to change it. Sometimes what we wanted turns out not to suit us, and sometimes the best opportunities arrive from a place we weren’t looking at. Stay open, and be willing to change course when something isn’t working.
One way to stay flexible is to keep learning. Take a course, go to a workshop, read, listen to a podcast. There’s always something new to discover, and it keeps your mind supple when circumstances change.
4. Keep your reason in sight
Motivation is fickle. It’s strong in January and on Monday mornings, and much weaker on a wet Thursday. So find what truly moves you and keep it where you can see it. It might be the work you dream of, the wish to do some good in the world, or the people you love and want to be there for. When progress is slow, it’s your reason that gets you up, more than your willpower. And if you’re easily pulled away by the next shiny idea, check in with your goal regularly: a few quiet minutes each week are enough.
5. Celebrate
We’re so busy looking at what’s left to do that we forget how far we’ve come. Stop from time to time and look back. Acknowledge each bit of progress, however small, and mark it in a way that pleases you. It’s fuel for the next stretch. If you feel you’re flagging, my article on persistence may give you a push.
Try this today
Write one sentence that begins with “In a year, I’d like to...”.
Choose the smallest step that goes in that direction, small enough to do before bedtime.
Tell one person who will be glad for you.
On Sunday, look back at your week and note one thing you did that you’re pleased with.
If you enjoy pictures more than lists, you might like to make a vision board and keep it where you’ll see it every day.
Books to take you further
These books expand on the ideas above: goals, perseverance, mindset, habits and purpose.
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey. A classic on being more effective in your personal and working life, with a strong emphasis on clear goals and staying true to your values.
Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth. On the mix of passion and perseverance that helps people get past obstacles and reach what they set out to do.
Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck. How the beliefs you hold about yourself shape the way you meet challenges and setbacks, and what changes when you believe you can grow.
Atomic Habits by James Clear. Practical ways to build habits that serve you and let go of those that don’t, through small changes repeated over time.
Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl. The account of a Holocaust survivor, and a moving reflection on how a sense of meaning and purpose carries us through even the hardest times.
You have the brains in your head and the feet in your shoes. Don’t let anyone else dictate your direction. Choose it, stay true to yourself, adapt when you need to, and enjoy the ride.
Frequently asked questions
What if I don’t know what I want?
Start with what you don’t want any more, and with the moments in your week when you feel most like yourself. Both are clues. You don’t need a full picture to begin: one direction that feels right for the next few months is enough, and it becomes clearer once you start moving.
How do I stay motivated when progress is slow?
Keep your reason where you can see it, make the next step small enough to do today, and look back regularly at what you have already done. Motivation comes and goes. A small habit that you repeat carries you through the days when it is missing.
Is it giving up if I change my goal?
No. Giving up is stopping because it is uncomfortable. Changing direction because you have learned something about yourself or about the goal is good steering. Ask yourself whether the goal still fits who you are, and adjust without guilt if it doesn’t.
How do I make choices that are mine, and stop trying to please everyone?
Before you say yes, ask yourself what you would choose if nobody had an opinion about it. Write down the three or four things that matter most to you and check your decisions against them. It gets easier with practice, and the people who care about you adapt.
Would you like some help?
Choosing a direction for your health, and then making the small daily choices that take you there, is one of the things we work on in my group programmes in nutrition and health, such as Six Tuesdays in Montignac. If you’d like to hear when the next group opens, write to me at hello@catherinepolet.coach.
Would you rather work one to one? I also coach online. Book a free 20-minute call, and tell me where you’d like to steer. We’ll look together at the first step.
About Catherine
I’m Catherine Polet, a holistic nutrition health coach, yoga and autogenic training teacher for more than 30 years, author and speaker. I help people find a way of eating and living that suits their own body, online in English, French, Spanish and German, and in person in Southwest France.
