Photo by Danka & Peter on Unsplash
In short: A winner is a dreamer who never gives up. What separates the people who reach their goals from those who don’t is rarely talent: it’s persistence. You build it with a growth mindset, with supportive people around you, with small achievable steps, and with a simple way of seeing your progress so that you stay motivated when things get hard.
It’s the third week. You started with so much energy: the walk before breakfast, the course you signed up for, the book you finally began to write, the new way of eating. Then came a cold, a difficult week at work, a comment from someone who didn’t believe in your idea. This morning the alarm rang, it was raining, and a little voice said: “What’s the point? You never finish anything anyway.”
Have you ever set yourself a big goal, only to feel discouraged and defeated when the first obstacles turned up? Most of us have. And this is the moment when it’s decided, far more than on the first day, when everything is still easy.
What makes the difference between those who succeed and those who don’t?
We all have dreams. The people who see theirs come true are the ones who refuse to let setbacks stand in their way. In business, in sport, or in any other field, they have a vision and the tenacity to pursue it.
Take Michael Jordan. As a teenager, he wasn’t picked for his high school’s senior basketball team. He used that disappointment as fuel to work harder and improve his skills, and he became one of the greatest basketball players of all time.
Or J.K. Rowling, the author of the Harry Potter series. Publisher after publisher turned down her first book. She never lost faith in her story or in herself. Today she is one of the best-selling authors in the world.
These stories are a reminder that success is not about having a clear and easy path. It’s about being willing to put in the work, to overcome obstacles and to hold on to what you believe in.
“Successful and unsuccessful people do not vary greatly in their abilities. They vary in their desires to reach their potential.”
John Maxwell
But I’m not Michael Jordan. Can I do it too?
Yes. You may not be the next Michael Jordan or J.K. Rowling, but you have your own talents, passions and dreams. Yours might be to walk for an hour without getting out of breath. To learn Spanish before you visit your daughter abroad. To change jobs at fifty. To cook proper meals again and feel well in your body.
None of these makes the newspapers, and each of them asks for exactly the same quality: you keep going on the days when you don’t feel like it. If you believe in yourself, stay focused and don’t give up, you can achieve great things. If your dream still feels a bit vague, start with a clear vision of what you want.
What do you do when things don’t go to plan?
It’s easy to get discouraged. Life is full of challenges, and it’s natural to feel overwhelmed sometimes. What sets winners apart is that they keep moving forward anyway, one step at a time. They treat a setback as something to learn from.
So when you miss a week, ask a different question. Not “What’s wrong with me?” but “What got in the way, and what would make it easier next time?” Perhaps the walk needs to move to lunchtime. Perhaps the plan was too big for a month in which you were also caring for a sick parent. That’s information, not failure. I wrote more about this in there are no mistakes, only opportunities.
What is a growth mindset, and how do you develop one?
A growth mindset means that you see challenges as part of learning, and failures as chances to grow instead of roadblocks. It’s the difference between “I’m no good at this” and “I can’t do this yet”. With that little word “yet”, you’re much more likely to stay focused and motivated, and much less likely to give up at the first difficulty.
You can practise it. Listen to what you say to yourself after a disappointing day and add the “yet”. Look for the one thing that went a little better than last time. And remember something you once couldn’t do and now do without thinking: driving a car, speaking another language, making a meal for six. You learnt those by doing them badly first. There is more on this in mind your thoughts, change your life.
Who is in your corner?
One of the best ways to keep a growth mindset is to surround yourself with positive and supportive people. A mentor, a coach, a friend who believes in you: having someone on your side can make all the difference. We bounce back from setbacks far more easily when we don’t have to do it alone.
Think about who that could be for you. The friend you can text “I did it” after your walk. The neighbour who would happily come along. A group of people working on the same thing as you. And notice, too, who tends to pour cold water on your plans. You don’t have to share every dream with everybody.
How do you set goals you can really reach?
Break your big dream into smaller, more manageable steps. “Get fit” is a wish. “Walk for twenty minutes after lunch on Monday, Wednesday and Friday” is a step you can take this week. Small steps let you see your progress and give you a feeling of accomplishment, and that feeling is what makes you want to continue.
Set realistic expectations, and be patient. Success rarely happens overnight. It takes time, work and persistence. If you’d like to go further, read how to achieve your health goals and why change is hard, and how to make new habits stick.
How do you stay motivated and focused?
Motivation comes and goes, so give it something to lean on when the going gets tough:
Keep a journal. Two lines in the evening are enough: what you did today, and what you’re pleased with. On a discouraged day, leaf back through it and see how far you’ve come.
Make a vision board. Pictures and words of what you’re working towards, somewhere you see them every morning. Here is how to make one.
Write down a few positive affirmations. Short sentences in your own words, such as “I keep my promises to myself”, on a card by the kettle or the bathroom mirror.
Track your progress. A tick on the calendar for each day you did your step. It’s simple, and seeing the ticks add up is very encouraging.
Try this today
Choose one dream that you’ve quietly put aside. Write it at the top of a page. Underneath, write the smallest step you could take before the end of this week, and the name of one person you’ll tell about it. Then take that step, however small it looks.
Becoming a winner starts with having a dream and not giving up on it. Dream big, believe in yourself, and keep taking the next step. Each one brings you closer.
Frequently asked questions
What is persistence?
Persistence is carrying on with something that matters to you after the first enthusiasm has gone and the first obstacles have arrived. It is not about never stopping or never doubting. It is about coming back, again and again, after a bad day or a bad week.
How do I keep going when I see no results?
Make your steps smaller and write down what you do, not only what you achieve. Results often arrive later than we would like, and a notebook shows you the effort you would otherwise forget. Tell one supportive person what you are working on, so that you do not carry it alone.
What is a growth mindset?
A growth mindset is the belief that you can learn and improve with practice. With it, a failure is information about what to try next, not a verdict on who you are. The little word that sums it up is yet: I cannot do this yet.
Is it ever right to give up on a goal?
Yes. Persistence is not stubbornness. If a goal no longer fits your life or your values, or if it is harming your health, you are allowed to change it or let it go. Ask yourself whether you want to stop because it is hard today or because it is no longer yours.
How do I start again after a setback?
Start with the very next small step, today if you can, without waiting for Monday or for the new year. Skip the scolding. Look at what got in the way, change one thing, and carry on.
Would you like some help?
Keeping going with new eating habits when life gets in the way is one of the things we work on in my group programmes in nutrition and health, such as Six Tuesdays in Montignac. A group is a wonderful place to find people who are in your corner. If you’d like to hear when the next one opens, write to me at hello@catherinepolet.coach.
Would you rather work one to one? I also coach online. Book a free 20-minute call, and tell me about the dream you keep putting off. We’ll look together for the first small step.
About Catherine
I’m Catherine Polet, a holistic nutrition health coach, yoga and autogenic training teacher for more than 30 years, author and speaker. I help people find a way of eating and living that suits their own body, online in English, French, Spanish and German, and in person in Southwest France.
