Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash
In short: Most of us spend the day breathing high and short, and sometimes holding our breath without noticing. Simply remembering to take one slow, soft breath, with the out-breath a little longer than the in-breath, brings you back to your body and to the present moment. This is a gentle introduction: no technique to master, just a few moments in your day when you stop and breathe.
You’re answering an email, and halfway through a difficult sentence you notice something: you’re not breathing. Your breath is held somewhere at the top of your chest, your shoulders are up, and your jaw is clenched. You let the air out in a little rush, and for a second the room seems to come back into focus.
Breathing is the one thing we do all day, every day, without thinking. And that’s exactly why we so often do it in a hurry. Before any technique, any counting or any special practice, there’s one simple invitation I’d love to share with you: breathe.
Why do we forget to breathe properly?
Your breath follows the way you live. When you rush, it rushes. When you concentrate hard, it often stops for a moment. When you’re worried, it climbs up into your chest and stays there, short and shallow. Over a busy day, and a busy life, that becomes your normal way of breathing, and you no longer notice it.
Many of us also learned, somewhere along the way, to hold our belly in. A held belly can’t move freely with the breath, so the breath stays high. When I teach yoga, one of the first things I invite people to do is simply let the belly soften. You can see the relief on their faces.
What happens when you take one slow breath?
Your nervous system has an accelerator and a brake. Short, quick breaths keep a light foot on the accelerator: you stay a little on alert. A slow breath, especially a long, easy out-breath, touches the brake. Your heart settles, your muscles soften, and your mind gets the message that it can stop scanning for danger for a moment.
One breath won’t change your life. But it changes the moment you’re in. And our days are made of moments. If you’d like to understand the signs of an accelerator that has been pressed down for too long, I wrote about them in Uncover hidden stress.
When is a good moment to stop and breathe?
Any moment at all. But here are a few where one slow breath can make a real difference.
When you feel overwhelmed. Breathe before you decide what to do next. The list will still be there, and you’ll see it more clearly.
When your mind is in tomorrow or yesterday. The breath only ever happens now. Following one breath, in and out, brings you back to where you are.
When you have too many things to do. Breathe, then choose the one thing that matters most right now, and do only that.
When you’re with someone you love. One quiet breath helps you put down the to-do list in your head and really be there, listening.
When you sit down to eat. A breath before the first bite slows you down, so you taste your food and notice when you’ve had enough. I answer many questions about this in my FAQs on mindful eating. The same breath helps at the cupboard on a dark autumn evening, as I describe in Comfort eating in autumn.
When you move. Never hold your breath during an effort. Breathe out as you lift, push or stand up. It makes exercise smoother and much more enjoyable, and I talk about moving with pleasure in Let’s talk about exercise.
When you notice you’re rushing. Breathe, and let that breath slow your steps a little. Life is better enjoyed at a slightly gentler pace.
How do I take one conscious breath?
It’s so simple that it’s easy to underestimate it.
Pause what you’re doing, wherever you are. Nobody needs to know.
Let your shoulders drop and your belly soften.
Breathe in gently through your nose, without forcing.
Breathe out slowly, a little longer than you breathed in, as if you were letting go of something.
Notice how you feel, then carry on with your day.
That’s it. One breath. If you have time, take two or three. When you’d like to go further, I share five simple practices, step by step, in Breathe your way to mindfulness.
What helps?
1. Put the word where you’ll see it
This is a little trick I love. Write the word “Breathe” on a sticky note and put it on your fridge, your bathroom mirror, your desk or the dashboard of your car. Or make it the background on your phone or computer. Every time you see it, take one slow breath. The word does the remembering for you.
2. Hang your breath on things you already do
Choose a few moments that happen every day anyway: while the kettle boils, when you sit down at the table, when you turn the key in the front door, when you switch off the light at night. Let each of them become a reminder to breathe.
3. Let the out-breath be a little longer
You don’t need to count or measure. Just let the breath out slowly, as if you were sighing after a long day. That long out-breath is the part that tells your body it’s safe to rest.
4. Be kind when you forget
You will forget, often. Everyone does. The moment you notice you’ve forgotten is the moment you remember, so take a breath then, and smile at yourself.
What doesn’t help?
Forcing big, deep breaths. Huge gulps of air can make you dizzy and tense. Soft and slow is enough.
Turning it into one more task to get right. There’s no score. One breath is already a success.
Waiting until you’re overwhelmed. Practise on ordinary days, so the breath is familiar when you really need it.
Try this for one week
Write “Breathe” on three sticky notes and put them in three places you see every day. Each time you see one, take one slow breath, with the out-breath a little longer than the in-breath.
In the evening, before you sleep, ask yourself: when did I remember today? Was there a moment when that breath helped? At the end of the week, you may find you notice your breath more often, even without the notes. If you’d like to make the evening itself a little calmer, I shared some ideas in The power of an evening routine.
Frequently asked questions
Is there a right way to breathe?
For everyday life, a soft breath through the nose that moves your belly gently, with an easy out-breath, is lovely. There’s no need to make it perfect: noticing your breath is already the start.
How often should I stop and breathe?
As often as you remember. A few single breaths spread through the day often help more than one long session now and then.
What if paying attention to my breath makes me feel anxious?
That happens to some people. Let your breath go back to normal, open your eyes and feel your feet on the floor instead. Keep your attention on something outside you, like the sounds around you, and go gently.
When should I talk to my doctor?
If you often feel short of breath, have chest pain, or live with asthma, a lung condition, a heart condition or panic attacks, please talk to your doctor before trying breathing practices. And if anxiety or stress feels too big to handle on your own, your doctor is a good first step towards the right support.
Would you like some help?
The breath is often where I begin with people, because a calmer body eats, sleeps and copes differently. Breathing, stress and everyday habits are part of my group programmes in nutrition and health, such as Six Tuesdays in Montignac. If you’d like to hear when the next group opens, write to me at hello@catherinepolet.coach.
If you’d like to work one to one, online, book a free 20-minute call. We’ll start, as I so often do, with one slow breath, and see together what would help you most.
About Catherine
I’m Catherine Polet, a holistic nutrition health coach, yoga and autogenic training teacher for more than 30 years, author and speaker. I help people find a way of eating and living that suits their own body, online in English, French, Spanish and German, and in person in Southwest France.
