Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash
In short: Your breath is the quickest way to calm your body, and it’s always with you. Slowing it down, and especially making the out-breath a little longer than the in-breath, tells your nervous system that it’s safe to rest. Below are five simple breathing practices I use and teach, step by step, for busy days, hard moments and sleepless nights. You don’t need any experience to begin.
You’re standing in the queue at the post office, or sitting in the car outside the house, or lying awake in the dark. Your heart is going a little fast. Your shoulders are tight. And if you stopped for a moment to notice your breath, you’d find it high up in your chest, short and shallow, as if you’d been holding it all day without realising.
Most of us breathe like that a lot of the time. We rush from one thing to the next, check the phone, run through the list in our heads, and our breath follows along, quick and tight. The lovely thing is that it works the other way round too. Change your breath, and your body follows.
I’ve been teaching yoga for more than 30 years, and breathing is where I begin with almost everyone, in a yoga class, in autogenic training, and in my nutrition coaching too. Here’s why it works, and five simple practices you can start today.
What is mindful breathing?
Mindful breathing simply means paying attention to your breath, on purpose, and using it as an anchor for your mind. You notice the cool air coming in through your nose, the rise and fall of your belly, the warmth of the air as it leaves. When your thoughts wander off, and they will, you gently bring them back to the breath.
That’s all. It’s a practice people have used for centuries, in yoga and in many spiritual traditions, and it asks for nothing: no equipment, no special place, no special clothes. The Vietnamese Zen teacher Thich Nhat Hanh put it beautifully: “Breathing in, I calm my body. Breathing out, I smile.”
Why does slowing your breath calm you down?
I like to explain it like this. Your nervous system has an accelerator and a brake. The accelerator gets you ready for action: faster heart, quicker breath, tense muscles, a mind on alert. The brake brings you back to rest: a slower heart, softer muscles, a calmer belly, digestion working again.
Your breath is connected to both. Each in-breath presses the accelerator very slightly, and each out-breath touches the brake. So when you breathe out slowly, and a little longer than you breathe in, you’re gently pressing the brake, again and again. Your body gets the message: we’re safe, we can rest now.
That’s why a few slow breaths can help so much before a difficult conversation, after a fright, at the kitchen cupboard at six in the evening, or in bed at night. You’re speaking to your body in a language it understands. If you’d like to recognise when your accelerator has been stuck down for a while, I wrote about the hidden signs of stress.
Do I need to be good at meditation to breathe mindfully?
Not at all. You don’t need to be a meditation expert, sit cross-legged, or empty your mind. You can practise sitting on a kitchen chair, lying in bed, or standing at the bus stop. Nobody needs to know you’re doing it.
And a mind that wanders isn’t a sign you’re doing it wrong. Noticing that you’ve wandered, and coming back, is the practice. Each time you come back, you’re training your attention, a bit like a muscle.
What helps? Five simple breathing practices
A few words before you begin. Breathe through your nose if you comfortably can. Never force your breath or strain. If you feel dizzy, light-headed or uneasy at any point, stop, let your breath return to normal, and open your eyes. These practices should feel pleasant.
1. Simply notice your breath
This is the foundation, and the one to come back to whenever you like.
Sit comfortably on a chair or a cushion, with your back upright but not stiff. Close your eyes, or rest your gaze softly on the floor.
Bring your attention to your breath without changing it. Where do you feel it most? The nose, the chest, the belly?
Stay there, breath after breath. When your mind wanders, notice where it went, and kindly bring it back. No judging, no frustration.
If staying focused is hard, count each out-breath, up to ten, then start again at one. Or say a word silently with each breath: “let” as you breathe in, “go” as you breathe out.
Start with a minute or two. When you finish, take a moment to notice how you feel.
2. The belly breath
Many of us have forgotten how to breathe into the belly. This one brings it back.
Lie on your back or sit comfortably. Place one hand on your belly and the other on your chest.
Breathe in gently through your nose and let your belly rise under your hand, like a balloon softly filling. The hand on your chest stays fairly still.
Breathe out and feel your belly sink back down.
Keep it soft and slow. There’s no need for big breaths. A gentle breath that moves your belly is perfect.
It’s a wonderful one to do in bed before sleep, with your hands resting on your belly like a warm blanket.
3. The long out-breath
If you learn only one practice, make it this one. It’s the brake I described above.
Breathe in gently through your nose, counting slowly in your head: one, two, three.
Breathe out slowly, through your nose or through softly pursed lips, a little longer: one, two, three, four, five.
Find a rhythm that’s comfortable for you. The only thing that matters is that the out-breath is longer than the in-breath.
Do a few rounds, then let your breath return to its own rhythm.
Three of these breaths are enough to change the moment. I suggest them to people at the fridge door in the evening, before a meal eaten in a hurry, or when they wake in the night and can’t settle again.
4. The letting-go sigh
Have you noticed how you naturally sigh when something difficult is over? Your body knows this one already.
Breathe in through your nose, a comfortable breath.
Open your mouth and let it all go in a long, audible sigh, as if you were sinking into a hot bath.
Let your shoulders drop as you sigh. Do it two or three times, then breathe normally.
It’s perfect for those moments when you come home and need to shake off the day before you walk into the kitchen.
5. The humming breath
In yoga this is called the bee breath, and it has a lovely soothing quality, especially in the evening.
Sit comfortably, close your eyes and relax your jaw, with your lips gently closed.
Breathe in through your nose.
As you breathe out, hum softly, a low “mmmm”, for as long as the out-breath lasts. Feel the vibration in your face and head.
Repeat a few times, then sit quietly for a moment and notice the stillness afterwards.
Because the hum stretches the out-breath without any effort, it calms you almost by itself. If you like rhythms, I shared a rhythm breath for the cold season, and a gentle introduction in Breathe.
Which breathing practice helps you fall asleep?
At night, I’d choose the belly breath or the long out-breath, lying on your back with your hands on your belly. Don’t count your breaths for too long; once you’re settled, let the counting go and simply feel the breath come and go.
If you wake in the night, don’t look at the clock. Turn on your side, soften your jaw, and do a few long out-breaths. This is where autogenic training is wonderful too: after a few slow breaths, you silently tell yourself that your arms are heavy and warm. I explain how it works in Autogenic training: more than just a relaxation technique, and you’ll find more ideas for gentle evenings in The power of an evening routine.
How should I breathe when I exercise?
The golden rule from my yoga mat: never hold your breath. Breathe out as you make the effort, as you stand up from a chair, push away from a wall or lift the shopping bags, and breathe in as you come back. It keeps the effort smooth and your body calmer. When you walk, let your breath find its own rhythm with your steps. I wrote more about moving in a way you enjoy in Let’s talk about exercise.
Can mindful breathing help with stress and comfort eating?
Very much, and this is why I bring it into my nutrition coaching. So much of our eating in the late afternoon and evening comes from a tired, overloaded nervous system. A few slow breaths before you open the cupboard create a little pause, and in that pause you can ask yourself what you really need: food, rest, company, or a moment to yourself. Sometimes the answer is food, and that’s fine. The breath simply gives you the choice. I described this in more detail in How to overcome emotional eating, and looked at why it gets stronger in the darker months in Comfort eating in autumn.
Breathing well also helps with how you feel around other people. When you’re calmer, you listen better, you react a little more slowly, and you have more patience, with others and with yourself.
What doesn’t help?
Forcing big, deep breaths. Huge gulps of air can make you dizzy and tense. Slow and soft works better than big.
Holding your breath. Leave breath-holding exercises to a teacher who knows your health.
Judging your wandering mind. Coming back is the practice. Be kind to yourself each time.
Waiting for a crisis. Practise on calm days, so the breath is familiar when you really need it.
Try this for one week
Choose one practice from the five above. Just one. The long out-breath is a good place to start.
Then hang it on something you already do every day: while the kettle boils in the morning, when you sit down at the table for lunch, and in bed with the light off. Three slow breaths each time, nothing more.
Each evening, notice how the day felt. At the end of the week, ask yourself: did anything shift? Perhaps you noticed your breath more often during the day. Perhaps you caught yourself holding it. That noticing is already the practice working.
Frequently asked questions
How long should I practise mindful breathing each day?
A minute or two is a lovely start, and a few slow breaths several times a day often help more than one long session. You can lengthen it gently as it becomes a habit you enjoy.
What is the best breathing exercise for stress?
For most people, the long out-breath: breathe in gently, then breathe out a little longer. It’s simple, discreet, and you can use it anywhere.
Can breathing exercises help me sleep?
Many people find that the belly breath or the long out-breath, done lying down, helps them settle and drift off. If you wake in the night, a few slow breaths are much kinder than checking the clock.
When should I talk to my doctor?
If you have asthma or another breathing or lung condition, a heart condition, panic attacks, or you’re pregnant, check with your doctor before trying new breathing practices. And if focusing on your breath ever makes you feel more anxious or brings up difficult memories, stop and breathe normally, and talk to your doctor or a therapist about the support that’s right for you.
Would you like some help?
Breathing, eating and sleeping are so closely linked that I bring all three into my group programmes in nutrition and health, such as Six Tuesdays in Montignac. If you’d like to hear when the next group opens, write to me at hello@catherinepolet.coach.
And if you’d like to explore what’s behind your tight shoulders and racing evenings, one to one and online, book a free 20-minute call. We’ll start, as I always do, with a few slow breaths.
About Catherine
I’m Catherine Polet, a holistic nutrition health coach, yoga and autogenic training teacher for more than 30 years, author and speaker. I help people find a way of eating and living that suits their own body, online in English, French, Spanish and German, and in person in Southwest France.
