Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash
In short: When menopause arrives, your body needs a little more care from your plate, not less food. Build each meal around some protein and plenty of plants, feed your bones, get to know your own hot flush triggers, and look after your evenings and your sleep. There’s no perfect menopause diet, only the way of eating that suits your body at this stage of life.
It’s three in the morning and you’re awake again, the duvet thrown off, your skin burning. By eleven the next morning you’re so tired you could put your head down on the kitchen table. Your favourite trousers feel tighter around the waist, even though you’re eating the way you always have. And everywhere you look, someone has a different answer: eat less, eat more often, cut out carbs, try this powder, take that herb.
Does that sound familiar? Menopause can feel as if somebody has quietly changed the rules of your body without telling you. In this article I’d like to explain, simply, what’s changing inside you, and share the way I like to help women eat through these years. No rules, no forbidden foods, no diet. Just real food that looks after you.
What changes in your body during menopause?
Menopause is the moment your periods stop for good, and perimenopause is the long, sometimes bumpy road that leads to it. During these years, two hormones that have shaped your body since your teens slowly step back: oestrogen and progesterone.
Oestrogen did far more than look after your cycle. It helped protect your bones, kept your muscles responsive, helped your body handle sugar smoothly and kept your inner thermostat steady. Progesterone had a lovely soothing effect, a little like a natural lullaby. When both of them start to swing and then fall, you feel it everywhere: in your sleep, your temperature, your mood, your energy, your digestion and where your body likes to store fat.
None of this means something has gone wrong. Your body is moving into a new season, and like any new season, it asks for slightly different care. If you’d like more detail, I answer many of the questions women ask me in my FAQs on nutrition in perimenopause and menopause.
Why do I need more protein in menopause?
If I could change only one thing on the plates of the women I work with, it would very often be this one.
Your muscles are constantly being taken apart and rebuilt, a little every day. With less oestrogen around, that rebuilding work becomes slower and harder, so muscle quietly slips away unless you give it two things: the material to rebuild with, which is protein, and a reason to rebuild, which is movement.
Why does muscle matter so much? Because it’s so much more than strength. Your muscles are like a sponge for sugar: they soak it up from your blood and keep your energy steady. They hold you upright, protect your joints, keep your balance and pull on your bones in a way that keeps them strong. Looking after your muscles is one of the kindest things you can do for the woman you’ll be in twenty years.
In practice, I like to see some protein at every meal, about the size of your palm: eggs or yoghurt at breakfast, rather than toast and jam alone; lentils, chickpeas, fish, chicken or tofu at lunch; a piece of goat’s cheese, some sardines or a bean stew in the evening. Breakfast is usually where it’s missing.
What should I eat for strong bones after menopause?
Your bones are living tissue, renewed all through your life. Oestrogen used to slow down the part of that renewal that takes bone away, so when it falls, bone can thin more quickly. Food and movement both help.
Calcium is the building material. You’ll find it in yoghurt, cheese and milk; in sardines and tinned salmon eaten with their soft bones; in almonds, tahini and calcium-set tofu; in fortified plant drinks; and in greens like kale, cabbage and broccoli. Spinach contains calcium too, but your body struggles to absorb it, so don’t count on it.
Vitamin D helps your body use that calcium. Most of it is made in your skin when daylight touches it, which is why a walk outside matters so much in autumn and winter. Oily fish and eggs bring a little too. Your doctor can check your vitamin D levels and tell you whether you need a supplement. Please don’t start one, or a calcium supplement, without asking your doctor or pharmacist first.
And bones love being asked to carry weight: walking, climbing stairs, carrying your shopping, gardening, gentle strength work. I shared everyday ideas in Let’s talk about exercise.
Can food help with hot flushes and night sweats?
Food won’t switch hot flushes off, and I’d never promise that. But it can make a difference to how often they come and how strong they feel, and that’s worth a lot.
Many women notice that certain things set them off. Coffee and strong tea are common ones, and so are alcohol (red wine especially), spicy food, very hot drinks and big meals late in the evening. Some women find stress is the biggest trigger of all. But every woman is different, and that’s why I never hand out a list of things to avoid. I’d much rather you become a detective of your own body. That’s bio-individuality in practice: your body, your triggers, your answer.
Some women like adding plant foods such as tofu, soy yoghurt, chickpeas or ground flaxseed, and some feel they help a little. They’re nourishing foods in any case. Herbal products for menopause are a different matter: some can affect your liver or interact with medicines, and some aren’t suitable after hormone-sensitive cancers. Please talk to your doctor or pharmacist before trying any of them. And if your symptoms are really hard to live with, talk to your doctor about all your options, including HRT. That’s their field, not mine, and you deserve a proper conversation about it.
Why am I so tired in menopause, and does food make a difference?
Tiredness in menopause often has several layers. Broken nights are the first one. Hormone swings are another. And very often there’s a third layer hiding underneath: a blood sugar rollercoaster.
Here’s how it goes. Toast and jam for breakfast, or just a coffee. A quick lift, then a dip mid-morning. A light salad at lunch, because you’re trying to be careful. And by the middle of the afternoon your energy falls through the floor and your body shouts for something sweet. I explained this dip in The afternoon energy dip in autumn.
The answer is rarely eating less. When you combine protein, plenty of vegetables, some healthy fats and carbs from whole foods on the same plate, everything is digested more slowly and your energy arrives gently, over hours. Fat, in particular, slows digestion down, which is exactly what you want. Some women feel best with three proper meals; others need a small snack in the afternoon. There’s no single right rhythm, only yours. And if you’re tempted to cut back hard to deal with a thickening waist, please read Why you need more food, not less first.
Does stress make menopause symptoms worse?
Very often, yes. When you’re under pressure, your body switches into alert mode: your heart beats faster, your temperature rises, sleep gets lighter and your appetite asks for quick fuel. Many of those signals look a lot like menopause symptoms, and the two feed each other.
This is where my yoga and autogenic training background comes in, because calming the nervous system is one of the most powerful things you can do at this time of life. A few slow breaths with a long out-breath, a gentle yoga practice before bed, or a few minutes of autogenic training can help your body step out of alert mode. Autogenic training is a quiet relaxation method I teach; you can read more in Autogenic training: more than just a relaxation technique. It’s best learnt with a qualified teacher, and if you have a heart condition, a mental health condition or epilepsy, talk to your doctor before you start.
What helps?
Here’s where I usually start when I work with a woman in perimenopause or menopause. You don’t need to do it all at once. Pick one.
1. Build each meal around protein and plants
Start with the protein, then fill half the plate with vegetables, add some healthy fats (olive oil, walnuts, a few slices of avocado), and finish with carbs from whole foods: potatoes, buckwheat, wholegrain bread, rice, lentils. A bowl of yoghurt with walnuts and a grated apple for breakfast. A lentil and squash soup with a slice of goat’s cheese on toast for lunch. Sardines with potatoes and a green salad in the evening. Simple food, and so nourishing.
2. Feed your bones every day
Make sure something rich in calcium appears every day: a yoghurt, a piece of cheese, a tin of sardines, a spoonful of tahini, a bowl of cabbage soup. And get outside in daylight whenever you can.
3. Become the detective of your own hot flushes
For two weeks, note when they come and what happened just before: a coffee, a glass of wine, a hot shower, a difficult conversation, a big dinner. You’ll very likely see a pattern, and then you can decide, calmly, what you want to change.
4. Look after your evenings
Have dinner early enough to give your body time to digest before bed, and keep it lighter on alcohol and spice if those are your triggers. Then give your nervous system a slope down into the night. I wrote about this in The power of an evening routine.
5. Move every day, and lift something
A daily walk, outside if possible, and some gentle strength work two or three times a week: standing up from a chair without using your hands, wall push-ups, carrying the shopping. Protein is the material; movement is the message that tells your muscles to use it.
What doesn’t help?
Eating less and less. Your body needs good nourishment now more than ever, and very little food usually costs you muscle and energy.
Cutting out whole food groups without a medical reason. Carbs give you energy and fibre; choosing whole ones, in a sensible amount, is what helps.
Trying every supplement and herb you read about. Talk to your doctor or pharmacist first.
Comparing yourself with your sister, your friend or the woman on the internet. Your menopause is your own.
Try this for one week
For seven days, add some protein to your breakfast. Eggs, yoghurt with nuts, a piece of cheese, a bowl of leftover lentils: whatever you enjoy.
Each evening, write three words in a notebook: how your energy felt in the afternoon, how your mood was, and how you slept.
At the end of the week, read your notes with a cup of tea. Many women are surprised by what a different breakfast changes. And if nothing has shifted, that’s useful too: it tells us to look somewhere else.
Frequently asked questions
Do I need to eat less in menopause?
Usually not. Your body needs as much nourishment as before, and often more protein. What tends to help is changing what’s on the plate, not shrinking it.
Should I stop drinking coffee in menopause?
Not necessarily. Coffee triggers hot flushes or poor sleep for some women and not for others. Notice how you feel, and if it bothers you, try keeping it to the morning.
Can soy or herbal remedies help with hot flushes?
Soy foods like tofu are nourishing and some women feel they help a little. Herbal remedies can interact with medicines and aren’t right for everyone, so please talk to your doctor or pharmacist before trying any.
When should I talk to my doctor?
If your symptoms make daily life hard, if you’re exhausted for weeks, if your mood is low, or if you have any bleeding after your periods have stopped, please see your doctor. They can also talk to you about bone health and treatment options, including HRT.
Would you like some help?
Menopause is one of my favourite subjects to work on with women, because small changes on the plate can make such a difference to how you feel. I run group programmes in nutrition and health, such as Six Tuesdays in Montignac, where we look at food, sleep, stress and movement together. If you’d like to hear when the next group opens, write to me at hello@catherinepolet.coach.
If you’d prefer to work one to one, I coach online too. Book a free 20-minute call, tell me what these years feel like for you, and we’ll see what your body needs.
About Catherine
I’m Catherine Polet, a holistic nutrition health coach, yoga and autogenic training teacher for more than 30 years, author and speaker. I help people find a way of eating and living that suits their own body, online in English, French, Spanish and German, and in person in Southwest France.
