Being a mom
Photo by Alex Pasarelu on Unsplash
Being a mom … or a dad … means something different to every parent. As a parent, we obviously want what is best for our child and while we have the experience of having been a child ourselves and remembering how it was with our parents, we don’t receive instructions of use on how to make it happen. We have some things in common when it comes to being a mom or dad and what we wish for our child or children, but today I just want to speak for myself.
As a mom, as all others, I wanted to be perfect, but most importantly, I always wanted my daughters to make their own choices and live their life on their own terms. What makes them happy makes me happy, no matter what path they chose. Well perfection doesn’t exist and my life has been much of a rollercoaster for years, when it came to where we lived for example. I realized later on that I lived the same as a child with my mom, moving a lot. Founding a stable home for your kids is not always easy or feasible, but that doesn’t mean that it’s wrong.
For me, it was important that my daughters learned to think by themselves to be able to make their own decisions, notwithstanding the fact that I’m always there, no matter what, to help them or just be with them when they need me. I surely wasn’t always the perfect mother and as in every relationship, we had our ups and downs. And I see it as a positive experience that made us stronger, made them stronger.
Being a mom is not only caring for your children, it’s allowing them to fly with their own wings and being there, as an invisible net, to catch them if they fall. It’s supporting them whenever they need it, being awake until the middle of the night, or just on the phone all night long, while they are waiting alone in an airport to catch their next flight.
Being a mom doesn’t stop once they are 18 or started working. It begins the moment you’re pregnant and is a wonderful relationship until you die. We maybe don’t realize that when we’re first pregnant or before wanting a child, but it’s the unwritten law of being a mom.
Being a mom is helping your children to find their own way into the world and support them whenever they need it. It doesn’t matter if they just finished school or university or are already working. There is no end date to it.
Being a mom is not about giving your children what they want, even though it makes them happy and makes you feel good, it’s about the moments you spend together, even if it’s not often enough, like chasing a fire in the mountains in the middle of the night, travelling to Italy for her or our birthday - just the two of us, or creating a Facebook page for her bento creations … the time we spent together travelling or laughing or just talking and the little things are what really matter. There are so many moments with one of them or all together that it’s impossible to make the list here.
Being a mom is not about perfection and how you feel about how you made it happen, it’s about being proud of your children, about what they do and most importantly who they are as a person. 20 years ago, one of the teacher of my oldest told me that I should be proud of how I raise my girls, that I’m doing a good job. At that moment, it was a tough period for me, and hearing that made me cry, because it felt like a hug, when someone tells you that it will all be ok.
Today I just can say that, even if it was comforting to hear that, what feels really good is to BE PROUD of my daughters. I’m proud to see who each of them is and is becoming. I’m proud of how they see life and the world. I’m proud of them being compassionate and honest, saying out their mind. I’m proud of being their mom but most importantly I’m proud of these three incredible girls, who now are grown up, some still looking for their own path in life.
And I will never be tired of saying it, not because I’m your mom, but because I really believe it: all three of you have become and now are a wonderful, respectful, creative, beautiful, intelligent, fun, passionate and compassionate, stubborn, and amazing woman!
Everything you want to achieve is there, just waiting for you to do it. Just go for it, because you are capable of whatever you want to! And if it seems difficult, you know that I’m here to support you, as well as your sisters, even with a kick if needed.
Being a mom is being proud of your child or children and respect the choices they make, because it’s their life.
Being a mom is the most precious gift your child is giving you, every single day.
Even if they are far away, they are always in my heart. Mother’s Day is every day and the most precious gift is just having them in my heart. Nothing else needed!
I love you just as you are, never change your heart, even if you change your mind.
