In short: A calm Christmas rarely comes from doing more. It comes from deciding what really matters, sharing the work, and looking after yourself the day before so that you arrive at the table rested. Keep the plans simple, keep your own routines, and remember what the day is for: the people sitting around you. A few gentle choices about presents and food make it kinder to the planet too.
It’s the 22nd of December. There are still two presents to find, the fridge is half full, the tree lights have stopped working on one side and someone has just asked what time they should arrive on the 25th. You look at the list in your head and feel your shoulders creep up towards your ears. You wanted this to be a lovely Christmas, and right now it feels like a deadline.
If that’s where you are, stop for a minute and breathe out. Nearly everything on that list is optional, and the part that isn’t can be shared. In this article I’ve brought together how to stay calm when time is short, how to look after yourself the day before, what Christmas is really about, and how to make it a little more sustainable.
How do I stay calm when Christmas is days away?
Start by taking the list out of your head and putting it on paper. A list in your head grows in the night. A list on paper has an end. Write down everything, then go through it with a pencil and ask of each line: would anyone truly miss this? Cross out what they wouldn’t.
Then a few simple things make the last days much lighter:
Group your errands. One well-planned outing costs you far less energy than five small ones spread over three days.
Share the work. You don’t have to do it all yourself. Divide the shopping, the cooking and the decorating, and give people something precise to do.
Avoid the crowds where you can. Order what’s left online or collect it from the shop, and go early in the day.
Take real breaks. A warm bath, a walk, or five minutes sitting down and breathing. If you’d like a simple way to do that, I describe one in coming back to your breath.
Lower the bar. It’s easy to be caught up in the idea of a perfect Christmas. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Something will burn, someone will be late, and it will still be a good day.
Two days before
Finish the last of the present shopping. Prepare anything that keeps: pastry, a dough, a sauce, a soup. If the tree isn’t up yet, put it up now so that you have time to enjoy it. And write a short plan for the next two days, with what you’ll do and when, so that it stops going round in your mind.
The day before
Tie up the loose ends: the last errand, the wrapping. Cook the dishes that can be made ahead and reheated. If you’re travelling to family or friends, make a list of what to take and pack today, so that tomorrow you only have to close the door behind you.
Christmas Eve
Do the last bits of cooking, then set the table for the next day: the linen, the plates, the glasses, enough chairs for everyone. And then stop. Go for a walk to look at the lights, sit down with the people you love, and let the evening be an evening.
How can family and friends help?
If you’re the one hosting, ask. If you’re the guest, offer, and offer something specific. Take half of the present list. Come over and help decorate the tree, with music on, so that a job turns into a nice afternoon. Wrap, run an errand, bring a dish or a dessert so the host has one less thing to think about. On Christmas Eve, help set the table or prepare the drinks, or take the children out for a couple of hours so that the kitchen is quiet. A little help goes a very long way in those last days.
I made a short video about this, you can watch it below.
How can I look after myself the day before Christmas?
With all the excitement, it’s easy to forget the person who is holding everything together. But how you feel on Christmas Day depends a great deal on how you treated yourself the day before. These are the routines I’d keep.
Sleep. Go to bed at a reasonable hour the night before. Wrapping at midnight is not worth a tired, tearful Christmas morning. If your nights are restless at this time of year, a calmer hour before bed helps a lot: I explain how in my article on winding down in the evening.
Keep your morning routine. It’s tempting to skip it. Get up at your usual time, shower, dress, have a proper breakfast. It keeps you grounded and you start the day feeling organised.
Move. A run, some exercise at home or a brisk walk gets your blood flowing and gives you energy for the rest of the day.
Unplug for a while. Put the phone in another room and go outside, read a few pages, or do a puzzle. You’ll feel more present afterwards.
Relax on purpose. A warm bath, some yoga, a few minutes of meditation. Choose one and give it a place in the day.
Take care of your skin. Winter weather is harsh on it. A simple homemade mask does wonders, and I’ve given you my recipes below.
Pamper yourself. Do your nails, have your hair done, put on something you feel good in. It’s a small pleasure, and it lifts your confidence.
Practise gratitude. Write down a few things you’re thankful for this year. It shifts your attention from what isn’t ready to what is already good. I’ve written more about this in how gratitude can change your outlook.
Say no when you need to. It’s natural to want everyone to be happy. But you’re allowed to turn down one more invitation or one more request if it would leave you with nothing in reserve. You’ll find kind ways to say it in my article on non-negotiables.
Use scent. Peppermint is fresh and lively, cinnamon is warm and spicy and smells of Christmas. A few drops of essential oil in a diffuser change the mood of a room, and many people find it helps them relax.
A word of care about essential oils: they are strong. Always dilute them in a carrier oil before they touch your skin, test a little on your inner arm first, and keep them away from your eyes. If you’re pregnant, have sensitive skin or a health condition, or want to use them around children or pets, ask your doctor or pharmacist first.
A moisturising face mask from the kitchen
Mash one ripe banana with a fork until it’s smooth. Stir in a tablespoon of honey, a tablespoon of olive oil and a teaspoon of coconut oil. Cleanse your face, pat it dry and apply the mask, avoiding the eye area. Lie down for fifteen to twenty minutes, then rinse with lukewarm water and finish with your usual moisturiser. The banana and honey nourish dry winter skin, and the oils soften it.
A cinnamon body scrub
Mix a cup of granulated sugar with half a cup of coconut oil, then add a few drops of cinnamon essential oil and stir well. Keep it in a clean jar at room temperature. In the shower, massage a small amount into wet skin in circles, on the body only and never on the face, paying attention to rough or dry areas, then rinse with warm water. Your skin will feel smooth, and the bathroom will smell wonderful. If you enjoy this kind of ritual, you might also like my Sunday self-care routine.
I talk about self-care before Christmas in the video below.
What is Christmas really about?
When the list is long, it helps to remember why you’re doing all this. Nobody will remember whether the napkins matched. They will remember that you sat down with them, that you laughed, that there was room at the table.
For me, Christmas is a time for giving and sharing, for being grateful and kind, for forgiving and starting anew. I once wrote a Christmas poem about a little girl who is too excited to sleep. She thinks of the presents and the delicious food, but most of all of the people who will come. Here are a few lines from it:
Christmas was a time for giving and sharing
For being grateful and kind and for simply caring
It was a time for forgiveness, for starting anew
For spreading joy and happiness in all that we do
So on the day itself, look up from the oven. Put your phone away during the meal. Ask the oldest person at the table about a Christmas from their childhood. Let the children be noisy. And if there is someone you’ve been cross with for too long, a kind word costs very little: I’ve written about why such small acts of kindness matter so much. Love, and the health to enjoy it, are the real presents.
You can listen to the whole poem in the video below.
How can I make Christmas more sustainable?
Every year we tell ourselves that this time we’ll do it better: less waste, less rushing, less of everything nobody needs. A more sustainable Christmas is also a calmer one, because it asks you to buy less and to choose with care.
Give something handmade
If you love painting, baking, sewing or simply being creative, make your presents. A jar of biscuits, a jam, a small drawing, a jar of the cinnamon scrub above. It’s kinder to the environment and to your purse, and nothing says “I love you” like something you’ve put time and effort into.
Choose presents that last
Make every present count by choosing something that has value, purpose and meaning for the person who receives it. One thing they’ll use for years is worth more than five that end up in a drawer. The same goes for the shopping itself: if the sales and the crowds wear you out, you’ll recognise yourself in what I wrote about the stress of Black Friday.
Think about the food
Plan the menu, buy what you need, and decide in advance what you’ll do with the leftovers. You’ll find simple ideas in my guide to a waste-free kitchen. In the weeks before Christmas, keep everyday meals quick and healthy, so that you spend less time at the stove and more with your family. There are plenty of ideas in my recipes. And if you have children at home, let them help you cook. It’s the easiest way I know to get children to eat well, because they usually love what they’ve made themselves.
For more ideas, from decorations to days out, the WWF’s tips for a sustainable Christmas are well worth a look.
I made a short video about this, you can watch it below.
Frequently asked questions
What can I do if I have left everything to the last minute?
Write down everything that is in your head, then cross out what nobody would miss. Group your errands into one outing, ask for help with two or three precise tasks, and cook ahead whatever can be reheated. A simpler Christmas with a rested host is a better Christmas.
How do I ask my family for help without it turning into an argument?
Ask early, ask kindly and be precise. “Could you bring a dessert?” or “Could you take the children out for an hour on the morning of the 24th?” works far better than a tired “nobody ever helps me”. Most people are glad to be given something clear to do.
What is the one self-care habit to keep the day before Christmas?
Sleep. If you only protect one thing, go to bed at a reasonable hour the night before and get up at your usual time. Almost everything else, your patience, your appetite, your mood, follows from that.
How can I make Christmas more sustainable without spending more?
A sustainable Christmas usually costs less. Give fewer presents and choose ones that last or that you made yourself, reuse paper and decorations, plan your menu so that food is not wasted, and turn the leftovers into a meal for the next day.
What if Christmas is a sad or lonely time for me?
Then be especially gentle with yourself. Keep your routines, get outside in daylight, and arrange one small moment of contact, a call, a walk, a coffee, with someone who is kind to you. If the sadness is heavy or does not lift, please talk to your doctor.
Would you like some help?
Staying calm in the busy seasons, eating well when the table is full and keeping the habits that steady you are all things we work on in my group programmes in nutrition and health, such as Six Tuesdays in Montignac. If you’d like to hear when the next group opens, write to me at hello@catherinepolet.coach.
Would you rather work one to one? I also coach online. Book a free 20-minute call, and we’ll look together at what would help you feel well through the winter. In the meantime, I wish you a happy and peaceful Christmas, with a heart full of love.
About Catherine
I’m Catherine Polet, a holistic nutrition health coach, yoga and autogenic training teacher for more than 30 years, author and speaker. I help people find a way of eating and living that suits their own body, online in English, French, Spanish and German, and in person in Southwest France.
