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In short: After years of diets, rules, busy days or medicines that change your appetite, many of us no longer quite know what real hunger and fullness feel like. Your signals are still there; they just need some quiet and some regular meals to come back. What helps is eating regularly, pausing to check in before and during meals, slowing down, and noticing how you feel afterwards, gently and without pressure.
It’s half past twelve and you’re wondering whether you should eat. Are you hungry? You’re not sure. You had breakfast, but it was small. Your stomach isn’t saying much. So you have a coffee and carry on. At four o’clock you’re suddenly ravenous, a bit shaky, and the biscuit tin seems to call your name. At dinner you eat quickly, standing half up from the table, and only realise you’re uncomfortably full when you’re clearing the plates.
If that sounds like you, you’re in very good company. Most of the people I work with have lost some trust in their own hunger and fullness signals. Sometimes it’s years of diets. Sometimes it’s a busy life that never left time to notice. Sometimes it’s a medicine that has changed their appetite.
In this article I’d like to explain what hunger and fullness actually feel like, why the signals get muddled, and how to listen to them again, one meal at a time. No scales, no rules, no counting. Just you and your body, getting reacquainted.
Why have I lost touch with my hunger?
Your body sends you messages all day long. When your stomach empties and your energy drops, it says “time to eat”. When you’ve had enough, it says “that’s plenty, thank you”. These are quiet messages, and they’re easily drowned out.
Diets are often the first thing that drowns them out. When a plan tells you what to eat and when, you learn to ignore your stomach and follow the rules. Eat less than you need for long enough and your body starts shouting instead of whispering, which makes hunger feel frightening and out of control. I wrote about this in Why you need more food, not less.
Busy days do the rest. Eating at your desk, in the car, in front of the television, while scrolling. When your attention is somewhere else, your body’s messages arrive with nobody there to hear them.
And stress plays its part too. When you’re on alert, your body can turn hunger right down for hours, then turn it right up in the evening. So the signals you do hear may arrive at strange times, and very loudly.
What does real hunger feel like?
Body hunger builds slowly. It often starts as a faint emptiness or a gentle rumble in your stomach. If you wait, it grows: you may feel a little less focused, a bit flat, slightly irritable. If you wait much longer, you can feel shaky, headachy, light-headed or very short-tempered.
The other thing about real hunger is that it’s open-minded. Almost any proper food would do. An omelette, a bowl of soup, a plate of lentils, a sandwich: you’d happily say yes to any of them.
Hunger that arrives suddenly, wants one particular food and won’t be satisfied with anything else is often a different kind of hunger: for comfort, rest, company or a break. I describe these as the seven kinds of hunger, and the hunger for comfort often grows louder as the evenings get darker, which I explore in Comfort eating in autumn. Both kinds are real and both deserve attention, but they ask for different answers.
What does comfortable fullness feel like?
This is the signal most of us have lost touch with, because we eat too fast to notice it. Your body needs a little time to register that food has arrived, so if you eat quickly you can sail straight past “satisfied” into “too full” before the message gets through.
Comfortable fullness feels like this: the edge of your hunger has gone, you feel warm and settled, food tastes a little less exciting than at the first bite, and you could get up and go for a walk. If you notice heaviness, a tight waistband, a need to lie down or that slightly sick feeling, you’ve gone past it. That happens to everyone sometimes, and it’s simply information, not a failure.
A little picture I like: imagine a line from “ravenous” at one end to “stuffed” at the other, with “peckish”, “hungry”, “satisfied” and “comfortably full” in between. The aim is to start eating somewhere around “hungry” and to stop somewhere around “satisfied”. Not perfectly. Just more often than before.
Can I trust my cravings?
Sometimes, and it helps to be curious about them rather than simply obeying or fighting them.
Cravings are shaped by many things: by your blood sugar, by how well you slept, by stress, by habit, by the time of day and by what you’ve been telling yourself you can’t have. A craving for something sweet at four o’clock is often your body saying “you didn’t eat enough at lunch”. A craving for crisps after a hard day may be about salt and crunch, or about wanting to let off steam. I explain this more in Sugar cravings: how to reduce them.
So rather than “my body knows best, I’ll have what I crave” or “I must resist”, I suggest a third way: pause, notice, and ask what’s behind it. Then decide. Sometimes the answer will be a square of chocolate, enjoyed slowly. Sometimes it will be a proper snack, a glass of water, or ten minutes outside.
What if my hunger signals feel strange or have disappeared?
For some people, the signals are genuinely different, and that’s important to know. Certain medicines, including weight-loss injections, can turn appetite right down. Illness, some treatments, low mood, grief and getting older can all change how hunger feels. Many people also find their appetite changes around perimenopause and menopause.
If that’s you, please don’t wait for hunger to tell you when to eat. Regular, gentle meals at roughly the same times each day are a kind way to look after yourself while your signals are quiet. And talk to your doctor about any big or sudden change in appetite, especially if you’re losing weight without trying.
If you have diabetes, a history of disordered eating, or you take medicine that affects your appetite or blood sugar, work on hunger and fullness with your doctor or a specialist, so that it’s safe for you.
Is this the same as intuitive eating?
It’s one important part of it. Intuitive eating is a whole approach to food that sets aside diet rules and helps you trust your body again, and listening to hunger and fullness sits right at its heart. I wrote about the wider approach in What is intuitive eating? and about the practical side of eating with attention in my FAQs on mindful eating.
What helps?
These are the steps I use when I help someone find their signals again. Take your time with them.
1. Eat regularly first
This always comes first, because a body that’s been underfed or fed at random can’t give you clear signals. Three meals a day, with some protein, vegetables, healthy fats and carbs each time, and a snack if you need one. A breakfast of eggs or yoghurt with walnuts and an apple. A real lunch, such as lentil and squash soup with bread and goat’s cheese. A calm dinner. After a couple of weeks of regular eating, many people notice their hunger becoming gentler and more predictable. I explained how lunch protects your whole afternoon in The afternoon energy dip in autumn.
2. Pause before you eat
Before a meal, stop for one breath. Put your hand on your belly and ask: how hungry am I, from ravenous to not hungry at all? Where do I feel it? There’s no right answer. The pause alone puts you back in touch with your body. You might also take a moment to be thankful for the food in front of you, and for the hands that grew it, sold it or cooked it. That small moment of gratitude slows everything down beautifully.
3. Slow down and check in halfway
Sit down. Put your fork down between mouthfuls now and then. Chew properly; your stomach will thank you. Halfway through the meal, pause again and ask: how does my stomach feel now? Am I still hungry, or am I getting close to satisfied? You can always keep eating. You’re simply listening before you decide.
4. Notice how you feel afterwards
About an hour after a meal, check in. Do you feel energetic and settled? Sleepy and heavy? Hungry again already? This tells you so much about what suits your body: which meals keep you going, which leave you flat. Everybody is different, and this is how you discover your own answers.
5. Be gentle when you miss the signals
You’ll eat past full sometimes. You’ll forget to pause. You’ll realise at four o’clock that you skipped lunch again. That’s all part of learning. Mindful eating is a practice, and practice includes the days you forget. Notice, shrug, and start again at the next meal. If guilt about food often comes up for you, I wrote about building a kinder relationship with your body and food.
What doesn’t help?
Skipping meals to “save up”. It leads to strong, urgent hunger later, which is very hard to listen to calmly.
Eating in front of a screen every time. Your body’s signals arrive, but nobody’s there to hear them.
Turning hunger cues into new rules. “I must stop at satisfied” is just another diet. Use the signals as guidance, with kindness.
Judging yourself for being hungry. Hunger is a healthy, normal sign that your body is alive and working.
Try this for one week
For the next seven days, choose one meal a day, ideally lunch, and give it your full attention. Sit down, no screen, one breath before you start.
Before you eat, write one word for your hunger (ravenous, hungry, peckish, not hungry). After you eat, write one word for how you feel (satisfied, comfortably full, too full, still hungry). An hour later, write one word for your energy.
At the end of the week, look at your notes. You’ll probably notice that some meals leave you settled and others don’t, and that your hunger has a rhythm of its own. That’s your body talking. You’re learning to listen.
Frequently asked questions
How do I know if I’m really hungry?
Real hunger builds slowly, you feel it in your stomach or as a dip in energy, and almost any proper food would satisfy it. Hunger that arrives suddenly and wants one particular food is often about something other than fuel.
Why don’t I feel full until it’s too late?
Your body needs a little time to register food, so eating quickly lets you sail past “satisfied” before the message arrives. Sitting down, slowing down and pausing halfway through your meal helps a lot.
Can I trust my cravings?
Cravings are shaped by blood sugar, sleep, stress, habit and restriction, so they’re worth listening to with curiosity. Pause, ask what’s behind the craving, and then decide what would really look after you.
When should I talk to my doctor?
If your appetite has changed a lot or suddenly, if you’re losing weight without trying, or if you take medicine that affects your appetite or blood sugar, please talk to your doctor. The same goes if you have diabetes or a history of disordered eating, or if food feels out of control: they can guide you safely or refer you to a specialist.
Would you like some help?
Learning to hear your hunger again is lovely work, and it’s often easier with a little company and encouragement. I run group programmes in nutrition and health, such as Six Tuesdays in Montignac, where we practise eating with attention and building regular, satisfying meals together. If you’d like to hear when the next group opens, write to me at hello@catherinepolet.coach.
Or book a free 20-minute call with me, and we’ll look at your days, your meals and your signals together. I work one to one online, so you can join me from wherever you are.
About Catherine
I’m Catherine Polet, a holistic nutrition health coach, yoga and autogenic training teacher for more than 30 years, author and speaker. I help people find a way of eating and living that suits their own body, online in English, French, Spanish and German, and in person in Southwest France.
