I want to change, but ...

Photo by  Ross Findon  on  Unsplash

Photo by Ross Findon on Unsplash

Go to any bookstore and you will find countless books that focus on this one concept: act. The problem is that the approach does not explain why we did not act in the first place.

For us to act, we must first understand ourselves. There are so many books, podcasts and blog articles focused on this subject, but there is one very important piece missing from the story: understanding you and knowing why you did not act in the first place.

It is necessary to change anything of our lives, otherwise we will continue to fall back into the same patterns.

Replace the word "act" with the choice of ...

  • … losing weight

  • ... starting a physical activity

  • ... making a career change 

All of these things are life changing goals and we tell ourselves that we will do them without first understanding why we decided not to do them in the first place.

Objectives have their place when planning a project and are reminders to keep us on track.

But when it comes to personal change, our goals can unnecessarily limit our true potential.

We do not need goals to start making significant changes. In fact, excessive thinking, discussion and planning to achieve a perfect goal only delays actions that can lead to excellent results.

A profound change does not come from ideals or goals, but from an awareness of the cause and effect - how our actions affect our health, our life, society and the world.

Change is not just an important issue in our personal lives; it is an imperative for our world right now. Our personal change affects our relationships, our family and the world in ways that we may not even realize.

Objectives or intentions?

How to change: goals, plans and intention

Before entering the heart of change, we must understand why we are even trying to change. What is the motivation behind our desires? What are we really looking for? What do we hope if we reach our goals?

Goals often start with a judgment about what we are not and the ideals we would like to be. Starting from judgment, we prepare ourselves for emotional distress and give up if we do not meet expectations.

Often, the main goal is to find happiness, acceptance and love. Even our success quests, safety, diets, exercise and relationships can be traced back to these primary goals to find happiness, acceptance and love.

The problem is that we are already starting on the wrong foot if we think that happiness, acceptance and love must come from the outside world, that we must find it, and that we must work for it. While these are all internal issues.

Often, we sabotage these basic intentions as we struggle for external goals and rewards without achieving true satisfaction. Incomplete, we are in a constant cycle of negotiating a goal for the next.

But if happiness, acceptance, and love are our true intention, why not aim for it directly and discover what brings it, not from the outside world or from any relationship, but from the discovery of the richness in us.

When we stop looking outside ourselves, hoping for validation, and become aware of the inherent richness in ourselves, it brings us to an entirely different perspective. So our goals are no longer what we want from the world or what we would like to be, but how we can better serve the world, how we can better share our time, talents and skills in the context of our lives.

How to change: solve the inner conflict

For change to occur we must face our conflicting thoughts and desires, not judge ourselves, but just notice the conflict of interest.

For example, we have read that excess sugar is terrible for our body, causing all kinds of health problems, but we like sweet snacks and carbohydrates. We may be inclined to exercise, but we like the comfort of a routine without exercise.

Changing habits requires recognition of the consequences. If you're not aware, then do some research - it's a first step towards change.

The personal understanding of why you are doing something is a much more powerful motivation in critical moments.

It's like with a hot stove, we do not have to think twice about not touching it.

When the cause and effects are crystal-clear, there is not even a decision to make, no contradiction. The mind is clear and unified in its action and change is inevitable.

Inspired action

Awareness is the catalyst for change.

An honest change requires honest awareness. When you clearly see the cause and effect of things, you are naturally inspired to act. Action is how things are done.

When there is inspiration, small gestures are enough to point you in the right direction.

Inspired action has an impulse and drive effect.

For that, find your WHY! Get a clear idea of WHY you want to achieve what you want to accomplish the most. This is closely related to your goals in life.

This will give you motivation! What is most important to you in your life, what are the values that motivate you?

Core values are the fundamental beliefs of a person or organization. They help you to know what is right or wrong. They create an unshakable and immutable guide.

What are your personal core values? When you live in harmony with your core values, you ignore the expectations of others and you finally feel free.

Base your "Why" on your core values. Once your decision and priorities are clearly established, new actions and habits follow naturally.

We must understand that our lives are fueled by our values, which create our emotions.

Each month, the coaching program "A better version of yourself" begins. If you want to be accompanied in your change, register before the 1st of the month.